Dr. Seuss’ Birthday and Condoms

by Lucky Red Hen on March 3, 2011

A Google search for "seuss birthday" led me to this page with an interesting banner ad.

What does Dr. Seuss’s birthday (which is today, March 2) have to do with condoms? I don’t know. That’s why I’ve come to you, my faithful 3 blog readers, to find out.

Maybe practicing safe secks and The Cat in The Hat (ba dump bump tsh) have something in common. But I think his other stuff shows he definitely digs abstinence (yay!)…

Would you? Could you? In a car?
I would not, could not, in a car.
A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you, would you, on a train?
I would not, could not, in a box.
I would not, could not, with a fox.
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
Would you, could you, with a goat?
I would not, could not with a goat!
(thank goodness, I say)
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!

And if Horton Hatches the Egg isn’t a love story about foster care and adoption, then I don’t know what my natural hair color is (I do, so there).

Happy Dr. Seuss’ birthday! We celebrated Justin Bieber’s birthday (yesterday, March 1) yesterday by frosting cupcakes with purple (his favorite color) frosting. It’s 5 o’clock (somewhere) and I wonder what we’

P.S. I dig abstinence and not using abortion as birth control. So there.

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[warning: rant to follow]

When do you decide that enough is enough with your kid’s elementary school? How far is too far? Where is the line? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I am NOT an educator (that’s the schools job). I have NOT been taught how to teach (that’s what teachers go to college for). I do NOT profess to know how a school should run (that’s why we have education professionals).

I am just a mom who wants her kidlets to have a consistently positive learning experience around other kids who behave decently. Is that too much to ask? I guess it might.

We can’t change the language that a third grader brings to teach my non-cursing children. Yes, I KNOW that’s going to happen, but it happens a LOT (especially younger) and it’s disgusting even though people may say/feel that it’s “just how it is these days.”

How about NO, that is NOT how it is going to be these days. How about we all agree that there is a NO CURSING policy at all elementary schools? Wouldn’t EVERYONE that is a parent to elementary students agree to that? Even cussing families, don’t you think they could agree that 5-11 year old kids should refrain from dropping the F-bomb at school? My third grader came home with a discipline form because he was caught passing a note in class that read (spelled correctly), “You s__ g__ f__ a___.” These are words he has NEVER heard/read outside of school. A kid in his class giggled and told him what to write. Yeah, my kid didn’t know better to not listen. Peer pressure… sigh.

How about we all agree that there will be no TOUCHING each other at school? Just a flat out rule that everyone is supposed to follow just like the rule that they are not supposed to walk on the grass (and they don’t). This would eliminate chasing, shoving, groping, pulling, poking, scratching, etc. Today my guy came home with ANOTHER deep scratch (his neck this time) from a girl in his class. This is the third in 10 days (arm and wrist were the other two), bad enough they needed Neosporin and bandaging (they’re bigger than a Band-Aid size). He’s had issues with kids on the bus harassing him (we drove him to/from school for a week then when he went back he sat in a different area) and girls kicking him in the shins (I think he handled that one by taking them aside and telling them it hurt a lot and would they please stop doing it and they did).

I’m trying NOT to go Momma Bear on the situation. I want him to stand up for himself and know how to talk to the authorities when something is wrong (he’s told her to stop, that’s not working). He’s supposed to go to the principal tomorrow and explain that he’s being hurt and would like it to stop. The nice thing is that he’s pretty docile and non-confrontational with people (who aren’t his parents), but that works against him when he’s getting picked on and treated unkindly.

The trick is that this stuff does NOT happen in Boy Scouts, Sunday School or at other people’s houses… just at school.

I KNOW teachers have a lot of work for little pay. I KNOW that kids will be kids. I KNOW that my kid is not an angel and contributes to an unruly classroom. I KNOW that the adults at school can’t monitor EVERYTHING that goes on. I KNOW that sometimes a class/group of kids can be impossible to manage because they are just like that. I believe that the teachers and other personnel at the school are doing their best to do what is right.

He says he doesn’t have friends at school, everyone is mean to him, he doesn’t feel like he fits in, etc. This. Breaks. A. Mother’s. Heart. And it makes me think about switching school’s or (ack) home schooling (ugh).

I DON’T want to home school but I don’t want my kid getting harassed and feel like a loser either. I DON’T want to get involved in a document trail of he-said-she-said (the principal is WAY into documenting every detail, I’m not so I feel unarmed).

How do I teach my children how to stand up for themselves without being disrespectful (not all adults are right or should be trusted, maybe the adult didn’t ask the right questions or believes the wrong person) or getting in trouble for doing it (if a kid hits mine but mine blocks or pushes to avoid then mine gets in trouble)? What is a kid supposed to do when someone else won’t stop being annoying?

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ButterLONDON Nail Polish

by Lucky Red Hen on February 19, 2011

Yesterday’s post was about the FUN of opening gifts and today I received a gift! What timing :D

As luck would have it (I love it when luck would have it my way), I won a giveaway on I Can Style U from butter LONDON (non-toxic nail care famous for NOT having formaldehyde, toluene, DBP, or parabens. It came with a hand written note from the Founding Creative Director, Nonie Creme (That’s her real last name!?! HOT!)

From their website: “This year her custom lacquer designs will be showcased on the catwalks of Vena Cava, Alexander Wang, Victoria Beckham, Calvin Klein, Betsey Johnson, Yigal Azrouel land Christian Cota.”

How COOL is THAT?!? I’ll be wearing the same polish as models on the cat walk!

(Can’t help but think of the SNL Miley Cyrus…) That’s pretty cool!

Check out the names the colors have, like: Aston, Dahling, Frilly Knickers, Minger, and Saucy Jack. This green color I won is called Dosh (my daughter’s favorite color right now… she’s SO excited).

The next time I fly, I’ll make time to visit the butter LONDON salon on Concourse C of the SeaTac Int’l Airport for a pedicure (they also do manicure’s and brow waxing)!

Thanks, Christie!!!

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Opening Gifts is FUN! Giveaway’s are FUN!

by Lucky Red Hen on February 18, 2011

This ALMOST became a gift for a far away friend. A Texas themed armadillo stapler! But we decided to just take a picture of it instead. Aren’t we nice? :)

Around here, the birthday person picks whatever dessert their heart desires… hot fudge sundae with sprinkles, bananas and whipped cream (in a can).

 The birthday boy hoped for a box from Amazon.com arriving ON his birthday, and that’s EXACTLY what he got (with something inside, of course)! See his excitement over a BOX?!?

And today we get to announce another Giveaway winner! Woot woot! Another gift giving :) My internet was down this morning, so this should’ve happened sooner (sorry about the delay). With only two entries (where my people at?) the odds were high (better than the lottery, that’s for sure)… 50% chance of winning :)

* TIFFANY *

Send me an email to claim your Nie Nie Dialogues Calendar PRIZE! Wee!

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A Zombie Shoot at Wade’s Eastside Guns

by Lucky Red Hen on February 16, 2011

The other day, Victor changed his Facebook profile photo to one of him at Wade’s Eastside Guns. Within minutes, Mike commented that he’d like to go with him next time. Because of FB’s clever cross-post-update-notifying, I saw the thread and invited myself, “I’d go with y’all. I pack my own heat ;)” Within two hours we had made plans to go five days later.

Here we are at our lane (you can have up to three people at each lane, which saves some cashola; first person fee is $15 and the next one to two are $10 each).

Here’s Victor getting some impromptu gun wisdom from a friendly Wade’s worker. ALL the staff that night were extremely helpful, knowledgeable, and encouraging.

The following two paragraphs in gray are about death (so skip it if you’re squeamish or don’t want to read it)…
The first time I heard about Wade’s was in 1997, right after a new friend was at the range with a girl who was trying a pretty powerful, unfamiliar gun. She had shot one bullet at the target. The gun recoiled up and shot again. That second shot pushed the gun back once more so that it was pointing behind her. Automatic reaction is to pull the gun down to the front, but in doing so her finger put pressure on the trigger and another shot fired and he was behind her, getting shot in the neck. He died before reaching the hospital. As soon as we all heard, shock fell upon us and remained for most of the week as his family came to town, we helped empty his apartment, and funeral arrangements were being made. It was an open casket funeral. At first I didn’t want to look (I’d rather his cute face show up in my memory instead of one without his spirit in it), but I guess that curiosity got the best of me because I got in line to pay my condolences see for myself how the mortician managed to mask the wound. They ended up wrapping his neck up with white fabric, making it look like an old-fashioned high collar, Mr. Darcy style. He looked, lovely. Really. As much as you would expect in that condition.

I’m not sure where the girl is now. She moved about a year later and we all lost touch with her. I think of her randomly; more often than him (sad). She’s probably felt alone since the accident, so that’s probably why it’s only when I’m alone that thoughts of her pass through. Hope she’s found peace. I know he has.

This is Mike, a.k.a. Bonnie’s dad, taking out Zombie Tom…

…Victor working on a target with my .38 special (wasn’t his favorite)…

…and me, concentrating on Zombie Tom. Victor bet me a dollar I couldn’t get Zombie Tom “downstairs” in one shot. Yeah, I’m a dollar richer ;) See the last picture for proof of my money shot, just under the belt buckle (close enough). Oh, the other thing about this action shot is that one of the staff tried getting me to change my posture EVEN THOUGH I HAD FIRED 3 SWEET ON-THE-BLACK SHOTS (he didn’t see them, just noticed my stance) and didn’t ask for instruction. But I listened and did what he told me for several rounds before I shook it off and went back to my way (straighter back, not bent forward at the waist like I’m pushing a grocery cart). That’s probably good form for others, but it did a number on my back muscles.

Mike proudly showing off his cluster of four shots. That would blow his head off if we were being attacked by (paper) Zombie’s!

Vic couldn’t show you where he hit Zombie Tom with the .38 because I’m not sure that he did, but he was able to get him a couple times with the 9 mil he’s holding in the photo.

I might’ve gotten him once with the 9 mil but my .38 worked just fine. It’s a gun my dad got for me in my early 20’s after I went shooting with him at an outdoor range. My first shot with a .22 hit my metal target and I was hooked. Guess all that practicing at Circus Circus as a child paid off! I’m a master at winning the watergun in the clown mouth to blow up a balloon until it pops game. Too bad the prizes aren’t worth paying to play.

Here’s a better close-up of Zombie Tom. Well worth the 2 bucks for him (the other small, bullseye targets are only four for $1). My aluminum bullets aren’t allowed on the range, so I had to buy (at a premium price, I’m sure) bullets from them for $19 ish (eye and ear protection is free).

The place was packed on a Friday night. Lots of guys firing LOUD hand guns and some just popping them off as fast as they could pull the trigger. Definitely a building full mostly of testosterone, a few geeks with really good aim and many trying-to-be buff guys showing off to each other. They run a tight ship at Wade’s, making sure that people follow the safety rules and help out willingly. I’ll be going back… maybe on a Tuesday when it’s Ladies Day 1/2 Price ;)

[remember to check yesterday’s post to enter the Nie Nie Dialogues 2011 calendar]

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After getting my zombie post all typed up, photos added, and ABC checked (isn’t that cuter than “spell”?), I realized it was TOO HEAVY to post on such a light holiday, especially with the NieNie Dialogues Calendar giveaway. But the good news is that I already have a full post ready with photos and stories!

Saturday we braved the crummy Seattle weather to beach comb for the Conversation Love Rocks, um, rocks (I couldn’t just say Rocks rocks, could I?) Traffic was a BEAST (pouring rain, even though Seattle is used to it, isn’t fun to drive through, and being a passenger in it is stressful) and I-520, the floating bridge, was packed as cars slowed because of the gusts of wind that made the bridge sway and threw water onto the eastbound traffic.

The calm north end of the lake vs. the choppy south side never ceases to amaze me. Rarely is the scene on each side the same, smooth calm. When it is, you’ll see kayaks, paddle boards, row boats, and standing surf paddling.

Luckily the rain let up long enough for us to find the rocks the kids needed for their Valentine’s. The far end of the beach area had lots for us to choose from as well as barnacled stones to inspect, giant climbing boulders, and photo ops.

Our time spent at the beach was little, so we hope to go more often when the weather is more comfortable for hanging out on the sand and in the water. Hopefully that will be sooner than later.

MONDAY GIVEAWAY!
How about this week we giveaway NieNie’s 2011 Wall Calendar?!? Yay! I ended up with an extra calendar, so I’ll pass along my goof ;) If you don’t already have a 2011 calendar or want another, leave a comment to this post telling me what your FAVORITE MONTH is! Mine is October, because I dig fall and Halloween. Here’s a photo of the actual calendar (and shipping envelope). This will be shipping from a Seattle, WA, USA area post office, so make sure I can ship it to you for under 5 bucks, ok? I don’t have advertisers or sponsors paying for shipping. This is coming from my sweet little home (and wallet) to yours :) Winner will be announced Thursday and with the this Saturday night as the deadline to claim the prize or another winner will be chosen (so come back, mkay?)

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Oh! how I love to happen upon a blog that brings me joy! That’s how I found Color Me Katie (fun, colorful, happenings that she creates in her city and photographs to share), Another Lunch (think Bento box for kidlets) and Michael Naples (complicatedly simple still life small paintings almost daily).

[We announce the Monday Giveaway winner today, at the end of this post!]

Today’s side track brought me quickish, kidlet-friendly projects at Red Bird Crafts as well as a brief heart warming read about her Nanny Ruth’s legacy. Wish I was as diligent as Ruth about documenting  life so that one day it may be a treasure to those who read it. Some day, perhaps. [sigh]

When I saw her Conversation Love Rocks post, I just KNEW my daughter might want to make them instead of the Dr. Seuss Valentine’s in a Box we were going to buy. Surprise to me when my 11 year old son wanted to make them too! Psst, parents/friends at my kidlets school, please don’t spoil their Valentine surprise, mkaythanks :)

Our plan is to hunt for the perfect rocks this Saturday. My kidlets have already decided on what fabric they want to use for this friend and that friend. The 7yo has been creating poems, too! [squeal, she’s really good at it, but even if she wasn’t it’d still be precious!]

Thanks to our quilty neighbor down the street, Laura, for giving us free range on your scrap stash!

[Side note: Laura and I were at a service project Tuesday night, making lap quilts for some assisted-living elderly folks, when she tried laughing at me for stock piling the scraps. In my defense, we needed some big enough pieces to hand embroider each recipients name to make labels/tags for the quilts… but I DO love me little pieces of fabric/paper swatches. When we got down to it, she admitted that she, too, keeps little bits, figuring that one day she’ll sew them to each other to make a true Scrap Quilt. She offered to let us come pilfer through her stash whenever we want!]

And now, on to our Monday Giveaway winner of Elena’s 3-Day Green Smoothie eGuide is…

wait, I should also mention that
for the next 48 hours (until Saturday afternoon)
my Lucky Red Hen readers can use code
3DGSLUCKY
for 20% off the eGuide in Elena’s store

* AUBREY *

Congratulations, Aubrey! Send me your email (click on the envelope in the upper right of my blog) so Elena can get you your FREE eGUIDE… WOOT! I hope you like the smoothies as much as I do… actually, I’m going to go make one now for an afternoon snacky snack :) On hand I have apples, frozen bananas (always have those in the freezer), frozen blueberries, grapefruit, spinach, hemp seed and aloe juice. I haven’t used grapefruit before, don’t really eat it by itself, but it’s good for me and smells delicious so I’m going to give it a try!

P.S. Need a wall calendar (I remember one year going two months without a wall calendar because I couldn’t find THE PERFECT one; maybe you don’t have one yet or want/need another)? Like reading NieNie Dialogues? Next Monday’s Giveaway is NieNie’s calendar, brand new, never been used, still in celophane wrap in case you want to gift it to someone else! (I happen to have an extra one; this giveaway is in no way endorsed by NieNie or her peeples, in case I need to say that for some reason… and it will be shipped/delivered from me.)

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Nautilus Cottage, Rm 4, in South Africa

Desi (Ricky, really) & Lucy had the right idea… separate beds.

But did you know they didn’t ALWAYS have separate beds? A little trivia for you from IMDB.com:

Although they slept in twin beds throughout the entire run of the series, during the first two seasons of the show, 1951-1953, Ricky and Lucy slept in twin beds that were pushed together in the same box spring. Once little Ricky was born CBS suggested that the beds be pushed apart to diminish the impact of the suggested sexual history of Lucy and Ricky. The only time we see the Ricardo’s in two bed pushed together again is when they first move to the bigger apartment in the Mertz building, however, subsequently after that the beds are pushed apart again.

I’ve been saying it for years now, but my husband won’t agree to it. Last night (and the night before, and a few nights before that when I was sick, and… you get the idea) I shuffled myself down the narrow, dimly lit hall, passing the miniature lazy guarddog in the front room, through our pretty, glass paned, French doors, to the TV room sectional couch for some ZZZ’s. (Woah, that’s a lot of comma’s and I don’t know if I used them right. Sorry.)

But by then, I was awake enough that it’d take me another hour or more to fall asleep. And I hadn’t been to sleep yet (even though I crawled into bed at 10pm). It was 2am ish (Yes, I use “ish” as it’s own word. On my blog, you will find several made-up words; 1) as an unpredictable connector, and 2) because I talk like that in real life.) and I felt just as tired as I did at 10pm.

You know how much stuff a person could get done in four-plus hours of solitary awakeness?!? No kids, no husband, no noises in the neighborhood. But when you’re lying there assuming you’ll be falling asleep in the next few minutes, you don’t realize you could just get your back end up out of bed and accomplish something other than conquering another Angry Birds level (pesky helmeted pigs).

Instead, I Tweeted my dilemma:

  • Who’s idea was it that married people had to sleep in the same bed? I want to punch that guy in the neck. #desiandlucybeds
  • Why does the snoring spouse get to stay in bed while the awoken spouse shuffles to the couch? #im2nice
  • King size blankets are never wide enough for adequate cocoon-style coverage. #breezy
  • Good thing about sleeping on my couch: raindrops on the skylights. #natureslullaby
  • Men: how do you keep your underarm hair from being tugged when you move your arm forward and back?

Alright, so the last Tweet had nothing to do with sleeping arrangements. But it’s a perfect example of how my brain works when it’d rather be sleeping. Argh. And I have been doing much better about not waking in the night to potty, so I’ve actually been sleeping through the night and avoiding insomniac episodes (My tip: I get all my fluid intake in before 5pm and try not to drink at all/much later).

After all that complaining, at least my family let me keep sleeping. The kids whispered (they must have, I didn’t wake up) and tiptoed getting ready (the italics make those words quiet, huh?) Daddy, the wiggly blanket hog snorer, got the kids off to school (“Thanks, Daddy!”) And the dog snuck up on the couch with me where she would be content to rest until I woke and NOT bark at the noises and people outside.

We have a semi-public walking/horse-riding trail directly behind our backyard. It’s awesome annoying when people literally high up on their horses don’t look away when we make eye contact.

I won’t tell you why they should watch where they’re going instead of peer into our house. (But if you know me at all, you know why.)

P.S. Don’t forget to enter this week’s giveaway!

P.S.S. My Green Smoothie this morning almost made me gag. THAT’S NOT USUAL and I’ll tell you why. I should have added frozen blueberries (I have them, just forgot to pull them out of the freezer) or at least some crushed ice. It was too room temperature and frothy. See, that goes to show you that you shouldn’t give up on GS’s because of one bad batch. ALL my others since the beginning (there were a couple that were so-so) have been refreshing and delicious. I promise ;)

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