Church Services: Why is my lap hot and wet?

by Lucky Red Hen on June 22, 2011

Jarring blog title, perhaps?

Well, that’s the first thing that came to mind when reguarding my experience in church one Sunday.

Usually I’m not one to interact with people’s little children (that’s a whole ‘nother post), but this particular Sunday I wanted to.

The mother was there alone with her kids and her little fella’s shoes were untied. The service was almost over and I knew he’d be going to his class and thought it’d be helpful if I swooped him up to tie his shoes for her (he’s pretty little, not really speaking at all, so 2-ish? I really have no idea; I forget how old I am).

This little fella and I have always gotten along (I’ve known him since before he was born… wait, that doesn’t make sense; you know what I mean). He’s a sweetheart, gentle and well-behaved. His cherub-like face would melt your hard heart (if you had one, and I’m not saying you do).

So this wasn’t a surprise to him that I’d swoop him up, I’ve done it many times in his life. The surprise came after I was done.

(whispering) “Let’s get this shoe tied. Over, under, make a loop, wrap one around, stick the other through and pull! … “OK, let’s do the same thing on the other shoe… over, under, make a loop, wrap one around, stick the other through and pull!” His eyes looked up at mine in appreciation. All done! Lift him off my lap…

…what the?!?

Moisture on my hand. Oops, his diaper must be full and it seeped out the side a little when he was squished on my lap.

Leaned over to his mother and said it seems his diaper is full because I got a little wet. Her inquisitive expression confused me then she said, “He’s not wearing a diaper.”


Grabbed my phone from my lap and felt it was wet, too.

Looked down.

See that my phone has considerable wettness on the front and side then notice the 6″ round spot on my skirt… the wet spot on the bottom of my shirt…

“Oh. My. Gosh!” she looked horrified and apologized profusely. I think she realized the severity of it before I did. I told her not to worry about it, it’s not like SHE did it (wouldn’t THAT be awkward) and besides… it makes for great blog material.

He just pee’d a full pee and it was in my lap, oozing wherever it could find places to go (you know what I mean).


When I stood up, I could feel the warmth trickle through my underthings. Yes, gross, but freaking out wouldn’t have helped. I calmly asked Ben for the car keys so I could go home to shower and change. I needed to be back within the hour.

Rumor has it that the little guy has been potty training for a couple months. Maybe he’s not ready (you think?)


Britanny June 23, 2011 at 2:10 am

Well, I guess he felt really comfortable and relaxed in your lap…

Laura June 23, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Hmmm… I am laughing!!!!!! That’s nothing to what he did a few weeks ago in class…You sure you don’t want a nursery calling????

Carol July 3, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Point taken. He’s back in diapers for now.

Sarah L. July 17, 2011 at 10:12 pm

Hahahahahaha!!!!!! I don’t know how I missed this post before! I almost peed my pants reading it!

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