The Mole

by Lucky Red Hen on June 24, 2008

…and I’m not talking about the TV show, wish I were.

The other night, when I was at the computer, Piper came over to me and asked, “Mommy, did you buy a mole for Posie to play with?” Not catching what she really said, I stopped what I was doing to look at her and asked her to repeat what she said. “Did YOU buy POSIE a MOLE to PLAY with,” she asked, like I was hard of hearing (which I am, but that’s beside the point).

At this point I (probably scrunched my nose as) I asked, “What are you talking about? What ‘mole’? Where is it?” Sometimes she gets her words mixed up.

As in today when we were watching The Waterhorse. She said, “What’s affirm tie?” What? “Affirminim taaaiiiieeee,” she said slowly. In the movie, they were talking about afternoon tea.

So back to Posie’s new toy. Piper explained that daddy said mommy bought Posie a new chew toy and it’s (points behind the couch, out of view) over there. “What does it look like,” I asked with my furrowed brow (because I’m really not getting what she’s trying to say)? She lays on the couch with her arms and legs bent up into the air and her hands cupped like bowls, looking a lot like a dead cockroach. It was hilarious, so I laugh, then ask her to do it again (while she giggled because I was laughing so hard).

We have a few chew toys for the dog: a 2.5″ stuffed pig with a squeaker in it’s tummy, fuzzy teddy bear and a duck. None of them fit her description, so I got up off my bum and walked around the couch to see.




It’s something I’ve never seen before, and it looked exactly like Piper showed me. I froze in place, not sure what it is or if I’d startle it if in fact it was ALIVE. Then I was sure daddy was playing a joke on me and sent Piper out to be the scapegoat. Dddaaaaddy!!!!,” I yelled toward the back of the house (really, how am I supposed to do the punctuation with quotations?).?. Honestly, I could’ve just SAID it because the house isn’t large enough to have to yell, LOL.

“What IS THIS?!”

“What is WHAT?” Ben replied.

“Get over here NOW,” I demanded!

He and Jack came trotting down the hall, saw what I was talking about and, nonchalantly, replied, “Oh, that’s the new toy you bought Posie to play with. She’s been chewing on it the last couple hours. Had it on the couch, in her bed, throwing it around the family room. She’s been having a blast with it.”

“I did NOT buy that thing,” I shrieked.

“Then where’d it come from?”

“I don’t KNOW where it CAME FROM but YOU’RE getting RID of it!”

“But Posie has been having so much fun with it. Maybe it’s one of the kids’ toys.”

With my voice raised a few octaves, “No, it is NOT one of the kids’ toys. GET. RID. OF. IT.”

We both leaned over toward it and realized it was a dead one of these

…in our family room, on the floor, after a few hours of being flung around by the dog.

Everybody, squirm with me…. eeeeewwwwwwww.


b. June 24, 2008 at 3:04 pm

ewwww, SIIIICK!!

Geo June 24, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Sorry, but that is seriously one of the funniest things I’ve read in AGES.What are you, a sitcom?(Sorry you won’t sleep tonight.)xo

compulsive writer June 24, 2008 at 4:52 pm

Oh my. Oh dear. Oh gross!

Elena June 24, 2008 at 5:18 pm

Oh…. gross… You have to sanitize your whole house now… I feel for you… Urgh….

Becky June 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm

Nasty! I feel for you!

bridge June 24, 2008 at 6:08 pm

Disturbing on so many levels! You should send Posie over to the parents’ house. That should take care of their mole problem!

Amanda June 24, 2008 at 10:30 pm

Could you have found an uglier picture of a mole? Kris and I were having fun laughing over here, but geez…I am SO sorry. lol……….

Lucky Red Hen June 24, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Honestly, this was the least-ugly picture of a mole I could find :-oLOL

Queen Scarlett June 25, 2008 at 7:04 am

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!That seriously made me pull my legs up onto my chair.

Trisha June 25, 2008 at 7:14 am

We have also been having mole problems in our garden. I have never before wanted an animal to die before this mole. They are nasty. I feel for you!

Laurie June 25, 2008 at 9:35 am

The story was hilarious, the mole disgusting. I do enjoy how you tell it.

Monica June 25, 2008 at 10:49 am

Sick Sick SICK!!!

Tillia June 25, 2008 at 1:44 pm

That is so gross!!!! I would have died!

Darrell June 25, 2008 at 11:28 pm


Bruni Bunch June 26, 2008 at 9:00 am

How funny! Who would of thought?

luckyzmom June 27, 2008 at 10:36 pm

Oh, my, GROSS. So, do you have a bunch of holes in your yard? We had a bunch, but we think and hope that the golf course has gotten rid of them for us. It would have been alright if I had never known what they look like. So, thanks*=DHow did Piper know to call it a mole?

Lucky Red Hen June 28, 2008 at 10:04 am

She’s a genius ;)

La Yen June 29, 2008 at 7:44 pm

I am just really impressed that she knew to call it a mole. And now I will go scrub my skin in empathy.

Kimba July 1, 2008 at 1:56 pm

EW. I am SO glad Bear hasn’t taken to bringing wild (dead) animals in the house.

Tiffany Izatt July 2, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Oh my goodness!!!! EEEeeWWWwwww. That is gross!But in other notes I love how you explained it

Dinea de Photo July 3, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Yuck! Cute picture though… for a mole

Anonymous July 6, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Best story I’ve read in quite a while

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