Lucky In Love: an engagement session

by Lucky Red Hen on April 14, 2011

EVERYBODY in love should get photos taken, anytime, but especially if they’re getting married. It’s SO FUN to look back on those pictures when you’re older and “remember when.” Haha, that just made me recall the photos we had taken before we got married. I need to scan them in and share them with you… sometime.

This is one of my buddy’s I worked with at the tree farm and his fiance. He got my jokes, knew the movie lines I quoted, and ALWAYS had a smile.

When he told me about his lady love, I saw the sparkle in his eye that fella’s have when they’re smitten. Boy, is HE smitten!

Because of his smitteness, I insisted on photographing the two of them; if not for their engagement photos, then just for fun.

Look at the fun we had! Smiling and laughing and jumping on backs and crouching…

It was chilly, but you can’t tell by these grins and cuddles.

Thanks guys for letting me photograph you :)

…and my favorite last shot. Happy wedding bliss!!!

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Cashiers Should Be Nice To Kids: or momma bear will blog about it

by Lucky Red Hen on April 8, 2011

After much online research, my 11yo settled on buying the Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 (they used to be called “Nerf guns” back in the day) at Target today.

We had several errands to run, so I suggested he put his quarter-filled film canisters in his camera case and wear it around his neck so it wouldn’t get misplaced.

After 10 minutes of trying on jeans at Value Village (these kids go through pants so fast), we were ready to go and that’s when he realized his jacket and money were GONE O_O

My heart sunk as I recalled the time I was a girl shopping with my mother and set down my purse. It felt like it had only been a second that I turned around but I’m sure it was longer. Time estimation does not seem possible when you’re a kid. Either something takes FOREVER or it happened in a SECOND. The purse turned up at customer service later, without my coveted wallet (white and tan leather with a horseshoe on the front) and 24 hard-earned dollars. I think I was more devastated about the wallet being gone than the money.

After asking a couple store clerks, we found out one of them saw them slung over a rack and put them in the Lost & Found. All was recovered, phew!

Even with extensive editing, this post is getting longer and longer… do you want to hear about my good deed? It’ll make up for the story coming at the end. A little yin for my yang ;)

Good deed: While waiting FORever (time estimation for me might be skewed too) for a VV cashier to count out a customers 40 paperback Star Trek books, having to start over a couple times and they weren’t all the same price, other cashier’s opened up and offered to ring up the next person. I wasn’t in a hurry and had already been waiting so long that I decided to stay put and wait my turn. Buuut, when the cashier finished ringing them up and waiting for the lady to write her check, THAT’S when she decided to tell me, “I’m sorry, I’m closed after this customer so you’ll have to go to another check stand.”

O_o

No. There wasn’t a sign or light indicating that her lane is closing/closed. Ugh. All that time being patient for nothing. When I turned to leave, my eyes met some puppy dog eyes (not really a dog and her eyes weren’t really doing the puppy dog look, but she did look a little nervous).

Long story short… this gal had $70 of dishes to return (the set was missing all the bowls) but VV doesn’t give refunds, only exchanges, and wondered if she could buy my stuff with her return credit and I’ll give her the cash (I NEVER have cash, especially that much, but this time I did and it was just enough.) I only had $10 worth of stuff to buy with cash, the rest was supposed to come out of our checking account (we’re on a stiff budget). I said, “I could use some good karma, so I’ll do it!” She couldn’t stop thanking me… profusely.

The second cashier rang me up but then realized she couldn’t do a return/exchange transaction so we had to reverse the transaction and go to a third cashier to actually get the job done. He was FANTASTIC, had a GREAT ATTITUDE, and bent over backwards (figuratively) to make us happy. Dangit why didn’t I get his name? Guh.

THEN.

THEN we drove 25 minutes to Target for the Nerf gun Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 and some perusing. After all the perusing, we just had the gun to buy and approached the next-to-be-served checkout lane. The cashier was finishing up the previous customer with a pleasant attitude. She rang up the gun and gave the total due. My sweet, well-behaved, 11yo then handed her the first bundle of quarters (he had about $19 in quarters then some dimes, nickels and a few pennies for the rest… but MOSTLY ALL quarters.)

Claudia: (looking at her handful of quarters then back at 11yo and in a snarky tone) We don’t take over $5 in coins.

11yo: (blink.blink)

Me: What do you MEAN you don’t take over $5 in coins? Since when?

Claudia: My supervisor won’t let me take over $5 in coins.

Me: Then let’s get the supervisor. (who happens to be just several feet away)

Claudia (to the supe): They want to pay with over $5 in coins.

Supe: Then take it. (turning away with a slight quizzical look)

Claudia: But I’m not supposed to. Two people have told me that.

Supe: I’ve never heard that. Take the money.

Me (directed to the supe): Coins ARE money, aren’t they?

Supe (to me then to Claudia): Yes they are. Take the money.

She starts counting out the quarters. At one point she tries to back peddle saying that she, too, pays her daughter for chores in coins. But then she says…

Claudia: Well, I’d normally take the coins but there’s a backup. (motioning to the nice mom behind us)

It was 2:30pm on a Wednesday, nowhere near a holiday, with at least four other cashiers on duty with only ONE customer each… there was NO backup. And it isn’t hard to count quarters… four equal a dollar.

Me: Wait a minute. You said before that you aren’t allowed, but now you’re saying you would if there wasn’t a backup?!?

Claudia: Yes, that’s right.

O_O

I’ve been talking to my kidlets lately about how we say things. Say the word “sorry” in a sarcastic whine with your squinted eyes and sneer -or- in a humbled voice with upturned eyebrows and down turned lips; same word, different meanings.

Like in Three Men and a Baby when Tom Selleck reads to the baby from Sports Illustrated. It’s his tone of voice that soothes the baby, not the explanation of how the basketball star completed his layup and scored his umpteenth basket.

We had several cashiers that day: one at Les Schwab (I returned our chains; the clerk was slammed with incoming calls, an impatient older customer waiting after me, and she maintained her pleasant disposition the entire time, as did I), three at the first Value Village, one crummy one at Target, and one at the other Value Village (we were searching for a small lamp for the hall bathroom).

I KNOW how to behave with cashiers, I HAVE BEEN a cashier, I have a couple of Employee of the Month awards from past employment in customer service, so I am pretty sure I have a good idea of how customer service works.

“Yes, we have no bananas!”

There is no excuse for a cashier to treat someone unkind, ESPECIALLY a KID. And obviously by my momma bear rant, MY kid. If she was having a bad day (which I don’t think she was), she didn’t need to take it out on the customer, my son.

Lesson Learned: don’t punch rude people in the neck. Blog about it instead.

P.S. Told the cashier at the other Target today about the incident and she was appalled. She said that she’s been paid in pennies before, that it doesn’t happen very often, and that their store has nicer employees than the other one ;)

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What Do You Want From Me? Plus Newborn photos.

by Lucky Red Hen on March 29, 2011

Blogging regularly is tricky for me because I think y’all want to see photos with posts. Is that what you want? Or are you here for my outlook on life and weird musings? Do be honest, I guess if I was asked the same thing about someone else’s blog, I’m not sure I’d know how to answer. Am I there for the photos or stories?

I like photos, of course. And I suppose you do too (who doesn’t?) But are photos mandatory? If they are, which is how I think, then my posting will have to be few and far between. I’m just not photographing as much lately, instead wanting to concentrate on my family (not saying that others can’t do both… it’s just difficult for me to manage.)

But you’ve figured out that I HAVE been taking photos lately (obviously, because there are pictures in between these paragraphs), so I DO have content to share sometimes. Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m doing a lot more photographing for someone who’s decided to not do photographing. Hmm. That’s odd. Perhaps I should tell myself that I’m not going to do anymore laundry and it’ll start getting done around here ;)

Sometimes I have an idea of what I’d like to write about, some deep and meaningful thoughts, but I freeze when I don’t have a photograph to put with the post then I wait too long and another subject seems more important and I bail on the other one.

Should the photo coordinate with the post? Does it HAVE to? Maybe not. I’ve seen other bloggers post sans photograph. I kinda think they’re braver than I to not have a crutch of needing one to post.

There are ideas in this 10% used gray matter of mine that could offend others (religion? politics? secks?), bore some (E = MC2), embarrass a few (remember that time when so-and-so was caught making out with…), or just plain make me look like an insensitive idiot (racial/cultural observances). Honestly, I don’t think what goes on in my head is that much different than many other people around the world (just willing to admit it), but whether or not I can convey what I’m really feeling via words typed on a screen is another story.

Q: Are you here for the fun, the stories, deep thoughts, or photographs? Or maybe you accidentally clicked on my blog and really didn’t mean to be here at all (it’s possible, and I forgive you if you never come back).

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Living Green: today vs. yesteryear

by Lucky Red Hen on March 24, 2011

The following photos show you how I grease my muffin tins. Did you WANT to know how I grease my stuff? Maybe you didn’t KNOW you wanted to know. And perhaps you’re NOT as big a F.R.I.E.N.D.S. fan as as I am (here’s a little clip of Chandler speak).

A little piece of plastic wrap, wrapped around my middle fingers
(not just THE middle finger, ALL the middle fingers).

The backside is where I gather the excess plastic
then hold it down with my thumb.

See how my fingers stay all clean and shiny?
Well, maybe not SHINY, but if I were a robot I could say that literally.

I am NOT a robot (in case you were wondering about THAT too). Maybe I could play one on TV (probably not).

Either way, robot or not, I am thinking I DON’T need to use the plastic wrap to grease my stuff anymore.]

Stay with me here… What would happen if I JUST used my fingers, au naturale? Here’s what would happen… I would save the landfill a strip of non-biodegradable plastic wrap (not that I cook often enough to really make a difference, but still) AND moisturize at the same time O_o

And my hands have been CRAZY dry and brittle lately (sigh). So now I vow to just use my (clean) fingers to grease my muffin tins, baking dishes, and whatever else needs lubed so food doesn’t stick.

Check out this short article I just read on being ‘green’…
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GREEN THING
by Jim Knowles

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Our Wall Art: metal prints, gallery wrapped canvas, oil paintings, and a quilt?

by Lucky Red Hen on March 22, 2011

Pretend like you’re coming over to my house, we’ve enjoyed visiting, and you’re about to (recluctantly) leave. This is what you’ll see on your way out!

A message saying, “Please Come Again!” and four of my favorite images printed on metal and hung together. They’re gorgeous in person, having a metal sheen that makes them POP! Plus they have dimension standing out from the wall, not pressed up against it.

Here’s looking into our teensie tinesie (how do you like my phoenetic spelling?) hall bathroom. Custom gallery wrapped canvas wall art (say THAT five times fast!) that’s perfectly safe in humid spaces.

These photos were taken a couple years ago at a nearby park. I was trying out lenses to see which one I might like to get next (the Canon 50mm 1.2f L lens, thankyouverymuch, birthday is coming up). The kidlets weren’t dressed for a photo shoot or coordinated for permanent wall art, but I used them as test subjects.

The piece on the left is four images of them making different poses every time I pressed the shutter button. The piece on the right is of them holding hands (not sure they’d be as willing to do that anymore, so I’m glad I captured their sweetness when they would let me). It’s actually not a technically sound image. My highlights are blown out, my shadows are too dark, and I’m not sure that anything is in focus.

BUT I LOVE THE IMAGE. I LOVE THE MOMENT. I LOVE WHAT I GOT EVEN THOUGH IT WON’T PASS A CRITIQUE, BUT…

“How does it make you FEEL?”
– Joe Buissink

Images of my kids make me feel extremely happy. That is why they hang on my wall. Not because they’re award winning.

The metals, on the other hand, are ROCKIN’ technically sound images :) Here’s a closer look (including the reflection of the dining room chandelier on Lisa and Eli’s faces, woops) of them before hanging.

…and a little snipet of my slipper :D

Here’s another way to get dimension with our unframed canvas painting. It’s stapled to the wall (where the creases/folds are) and stuck on the right side with painters tape. It reminds me a bit of my grandma, Lucille, who’s been gone for a long time.

The art on the left is by Adde duLaux Russell. It’s three separate canvases, making packing/moving a breeze. We met her in Seattle after seeing her one-winged angel silhouette painting (that’s not hanging in our house, unfortunately, it’s on a wall in a Sun Valley home instead). We’ve had it about nine years now, and every year we swap Christmas cards… how sweet is THAT?!?

The photograph on the right is of aspen trees in American Fork Canyon, UT, by Russell Gunther. His brother and I traded it for a quilt. I had already committed to making a baby blanket for their 5th baby, so he said (after trying to gift it to me and I wouldn’t take it for free), “I’ll trade you this for a quilt,” thinking that meant the baby blanket. But I talked to his wife about making a simple adult-sized one for him for fun, in addition to the baby blanket, and she agreed that it’d be funny.

Well, after trying to find the perfect fabric (I was seriously just going to get two pieces of fabric and sew them together, super easy) and coming up empty, I switched gears on accident and decided to try a design I’ve NEVER even come CLOSE to doing (nor had I ever made anything bigger than a baby blanket). This is what my 2 piece blanket turned into…

…well over 400 pieces in a Bullseye Design, cut in four’s and reconstructed. P.S. That’s not him, that’s his son holding it for me the last time I was in town so I could get picture proof that 1) yes, I did make it, and 2) yes, they actually use it.

We have more art hanging in our home, so maybe I’ll have to post another tour to show you the rest. By the way, all these photos were taken with my cell phone. You’d think I’d use my real camera, but no.

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Tubal Ligation = Good For Me/Us

by Lucky Red Hen on March 19, 2011

Tubal ligation (TL), sterilization, tubes tied, permanent birth control, fixed, spayed. Whatever you want to call it, it’s 99% effective in preventing pregnancy the first year. Subsequent years reduces the effectiveness slightly because there is a rare chance, depending on the procedure, the fallopian tube(s) can reform and/or reconnect, allowing the possibility of fertilization.

I know someone who got pregnant after her husband got a vasectomy… TWICE

…two vasectomies, two pregnancies (she had a TL done after the second surprise baby).

TL is also intended to be permanent, but surgical reversal of the procedure is possible (I also know someone who’s done this and was able to have another baby; not the same lady as mentioned above). The fallopian tubes can be cauterized, clipped (like a Chip Clip), blocked by tubal rings, or cut and sutured out of the way. My version was to cauterize closest to the uterus and toss as much of the tubes in the garbage so there is NO CHANCE of them growing back together. [shiver]

I had my TL 20 minutes after the birth of my second child. I already had an epidural for the birth, making anesthesia easy, and they went in through my belly button, just in case I didn’t want visible scars to ruin my chances of becoming a swimsuit model or table dancer (bahahaha). Recovery was a breeze (didn’t notice since all my guts were healing from the birth). The cost was much less because I was already at the hospital with an epidural so I was just, basically, paying for the doctor to do the surgery.

The anesthesiologist (dude, I just spelled that right the first time without spell check!) asked if I wanted to stay awake for the procedure or go under. Um, I just had a baby and don’t know when I’ll get deep sleep again so I chose go under :)

“Why didn’t you have your husband get a vasectomy instead? It’s much less invasive (30 minute out-patient), cheaper ($500 vs. 2k+), and quicker recovery.”

Because I am the one that doesn’t want to ever be pregnant again. More kids could be possible, but not out of my body. We would be parents to our nieces and nephew (if their parents die at the same time), we could adopt, or steal (depends how cute they are, j/k). If (knock on wood) I expire before my hubby, he could have more kidlets with his new wife if she wanted to. But if it were the other way around, sorry new hubby, baby factory CLOSED.

The benefits of having a TL done:

  • no pregnancies (or bladder control issues due to them)
  • no condoms (only 97% effective, as Ross/Joey found out)
  • no birth control pills (remembering/forgetting to take them)
  • no Depo Provera shots
  • no diaphragm
  • no cervical cap
  • no patches
  • no implants
  • no sponges
  • no prep (where’d we put the contraceptive?)
  • no worry (am I or am I not?)
  • no rhythm method (math is hard)
  • oh, and no abstinence (plus you can do it anywhere, anytime)

Some numbers…

Apparently there are many women (up to 26%) who wish they hadn’t gotten a TL. At Chapel Hill Tubal Reversal Center, they receive requests for information about TL reversal 7 days a week, 365 days a year, from women who regret having a TL. The U.S. Collaborative Review of Sterilization found that 20% of women who were sterilized before the age of 30 regretted their decision. Regret has been shown to correlate with external pressure by the doctor, spouse, relatives, or others :( Fewer than 20 percent seek reversal and fewer than 10 percent go through with it.

My REASONS for not wanting more babies:

  • I’m too old for this (doesn’t mean you’re too old for it).
  • When my kidlets move out, I want to do other things.
  • Kids are HARD. Maybe not for you, but for me they are.
  • My patience level is about (pinches fingers) this big.
  • Sleepless nights, feeding, diapers, potty training, crying…
  • My back doesn’t do well with little ones; I’m kinda broken.
  • Guilt with all aspects of properly/improperly parenting.
  • Selflessness… I barely have enough for my existing children.
  • My paranoia over EVERY STEP they take causes great anxiety.
  • I’d be in the high risk pregnancy age group next time around.

Kristi (@TweetingMama) says she regrets her decision to undergo a TL following the birth of her daughter two years ago. Read about her experience at Our Mommyhood. You could’ve read my clever reply in the comments section of that post, if the power hadn’t gone out mid-typing (grumble).

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Dr. Seuss’ Birthday and Condoms

by Lucky Red Hen on March 3, 2011

A Google search for "seuss birthday" led me to this page with an interesting banner ad.

What does Dr. Seuss’s birthday (which is today, March 2) have to do with condoms? I don’t know. That’s why I’ve come to you, my faithful 3 blog readers, to find out.

Maybe practicing safe secks and The Cat in The Hat (ba dump bump tsh) have something in common. But I think his other stuff shows he definitely digs abstinence (yay!)…

Would you? Could you? In a car?
I would not, could not, in a car.
A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you, would you, on a train?
I would not, could not, in a box.
I would not, could not, with a fox.
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
Would you, could you, with a goat?
I would not, could not with a goat!
(thank goodness, I say)
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!

And if Horton Hatches the Egg isn’t a love story about foster care and adoption, then I don’t know what my natural hair color is (I do, so there).

Happy Dr. Seuss’ birthday! We celebrated Justin Bieber’s birthday (yesterday, March 1) yesterday by frosting cupcakes with purple (his favorite color) frosting. It’s 5 o’clock (somewhere) and I wonder what we’

P.S. I dig abstinence and not using abortion as birth control. So there.

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Elementary School: Bullies Discipline Order Chaos Learning

by Lucky Red Hen on March 1, 2011

[warning: rant to follow]

When do you decide that enough is enough with your kid’s elementary school? How far is too far? Where is the line? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I am NOT an educator (that’s the schools job). I have NOT been taught how to teach (that’s what teachers go to college for). I do NOT profess to know how a school should run (that’s why we have education professionals).

I am just a mom who wants her kidlets to have a consistently positive learning experience around other kids who behave decently. Is that too much to ask? I guess it might.

We can’t change the language that a third grader brings to teach my non-cursing children. Yes, I KNOW that’s going to happen, but it happens a LOT (especially younger) and it’s disgusting even though people may say/feel that it’s “just how it is these days.”

How about NO, that is NOT how it is going to be these days. How about we all agree that there is a NO CURSING policy at all elementary schools? Wouldn’t EVERYONE that is a parent to elementary students agree to that? Even cussing families, don’t you think they could agree that 5-11 year old kids should refrain from dropping the F-bomb at school? My third grader came home with a discipline form because he was caught passing a note in class that read (spelled correctly), “You s__ g__ f__ a___.” These are words he has NEVER heard/read outside of school. A kid in his class giggled and told him what to write. Yeah, my kid didn’t know better to not listen. Peer pressure… sigh.

How about we all agree that there will be no TOUCHING each other at school? Just a flat out rule that everyone is supposed to follow just like the rule that they are not supposed to walk on the grass (and they don’t). This would eliminate chasing, shoving, groping, pulling, poking, scratching, etc. Today my guy came home with ANOTHER deep scratch (his neck this time) from a girl in his class. This is the third in 10 days (arm and wrist were the other two), bad enough they needed Neosporin and bandaging (they’re bigger than a Band-Aid size). He’s had issues with kids on the bus harassing him (we drove him to/from school for a week then when he went back he sat in a different area) and girls kicking him in the shins (I think he handled that one by taking them aside and telling them it hurt a lot and would they please stop doing it and they did).

I’m trying NOT to go Momma Bear on the situation. I want him to stand up for himself and know how to talk to the authorities when something is wrong (he’s told her to stop, that’s not working). He’s supposed to go to the principal tomorrow and explain that he’s being hurt and would like it to stop. The nice thing is that he’s pretty docile and non-confrontational with people (who aren’t his parents), but that works against him when he’s getting picked on and treated unkindly.

The trick is that this stuff does NOT happen in Boy Scouts, Sunday School or at other people’s houses… just at school.

I KNOW teachers have a lot of work for little pay. I KNOW that kids will be kids. I KNOW that my kid is not an angel and contributes to an unruly classroom. I KNOW that the adults at school can’t monitor EVERYTHING that goes on. I KNOW that sometimes a class/group of kids can be impossible to manage because they are just like that. I believe that the teachers and other personnel at the school are doing their best to do what is right.

He says he doesn’t have friends at school, everyone is mean to him, he doesn’t feel like he fits in, etc. This. Breaks. A. Mother’s. Heart. And it makes me think about switching school’s or (ack) home schooling (ugh).

I DON’T want to home school but I don’t want my kid getting harassed and feel like a loser either. I DON’T want to get involved in a document trail of he-said-she-said (the principal is WAY into documenting every detail, I’m not so I feel unarmed).

How do I teach my children how to stand up for themselves without being disrespectful (not all adults are right or should be trusted, maybe the adult didn’t ask the right questions or believes the wrong person) or getting in trouble for doing it (if a kid hits mine but mine blocks or pushes to avoid then mine gets in trouble)? What is a kid supposed to do when someone else won’t stop being annoying?

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