personal

Dr. Seuss’ Birthday and Condoms

by Lucky Red Hen on March 3, 2011

A Google search for "seuss birthday" led me to this page with an interesting banner ad.

What does Dr. Seuss’s birthday (which is today, March 2) have to do with condoms? I don’t know. That’s why I’ve come to you, my faithful 3 blog readers, to find out.

Maybe practicing safe secks and The Cat in The Hat (ba dump bump tsh) have something in common. But I think his other stuff shows he definitely digs abstinence (yay!)…

Would you? Could you? In a car?
I would not, could not, in a car.
A train! A train! A train! A train!
Could you, would you, on a train?
I would not, could not, in a box.
I would not, could not, with a fox.
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
I would not, could not, in the dark.
Would you, could you, in the rain?
Would you, could you, with a goat?
I would not, could not with a goat!
(thank goodness, I say)
Would you, could you, on a boat?
I could not, would not, on a boat.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!

And if Horton Hatches the Egg isn’t a love story about foster care and adoption, then I don’t know what my natural hair color is (I do, so there).

Happy Dr. Seuss’ birthday! We celebrated Justin Bieber’s birthday (yesterday, March 1) yesterday by frosting cupcakes with purple (his favorite color) frosting. It’s 5 o’clock (somewhere) and I wonder what we’

P.S. I dig abstinence and not using abortion as birth control. So there.

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[warning: rant to follow]

When do you decide that enough is enough with your kid’s elementary school? How far is too far? Where is the line? What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

I am NOT an educator (that’s the schools job). I have NOT been taught how to teach (that’s what teachers go to college for). I do NOT profess to know how a school should run (that’s why we have education professionals).

I am just a mom who wants her kidlets to have a consistently positive learning experience around other kids who behave decently. Is that too much to ask? I guess it might.

We can’t change the language that a third grader brings to teach my non-cursing children. Yes, I KNOW that’s going to happen, but it happens a LOT (especially younger) and it’s disgusting even though people may say/feel that it’s “just how it is these days.”

How about NO, that is NOT how it is going to be these days. How about we all agree that there is a NO CURSING policy at all elementary schools? Wouldn’t EVERYONE that is a parent to elementary students agree to that? Even cussing families, don’t you think they could agree that 5-11 year old kids should refrain from dropping the F-bomb at school? My third grader came home with a discipline form because he was caught passing a note in class that read (spelled correctly), “You s__ g__ f__ a___.” These are words he has NEVER heard/read outside of school. A kid in his class giggled and told him what to write. Yeah, my kid didn’t know better to not listen. Peer pressure… sigh.

How about we all agree that there will be no TOUCHING each other at school? Just a flat out rule that everyone is supposed to follow just like the rule that they are not supposed to walk on the grass (and they don’t). This would eliminate chasing, shoving, groping, pulling, poking, scratching, etc. Today my guy came home with ANOTHER deep scratch (his neck this time) from a girl in his class. This is the third in 10 days (arm and wrist were the other two), bad enough they needed Neosporin and bandaging (they’re bigger than a Band-Aid size). He’s had issues with kids on the bus harassing him (we drove him to/from school for a week then when he went back he sat in a different area) and girls kicking him in the shins (I think he handled that one by taking them aside and telling them it hurt a lot and would they please stop doing it and they did).

I’m trying NOT to go Momma Bear on the situation. I want him to stand up for himself and know how to talk to the authorities when something is wrong (he’s told her to stop, that’s not working). He’s supposed to go to the principal tomorrow and explain that he’s being hurt and would like it to stop. The nice thing is that he’s pretty docile and non-confrontational with people (who aren’t his parents), but that works against him when he’s getting picked on and treated unkindly.

The trick is that this stuff does NOT happen in Boy Scouts, Sunday School or at other people’s houses… just at school.

I KNOW teachers have a lot of work for little pay. I KNOW that kids will be kids. I KNOW that my kid is not an angel and contributes to an unruly classroom. I KNOW that the adults at school can’t monitor EVERYTHING that goes on. I KNOW that sometimes a class/group of kids can be impossible to manage because they are just like that. I believe that the teachers and other personnel at the school are doing their best to do what is right.

He says he doesn’t have friends at school, everyone is mean to him, he doesn’t feel like he fits in, etc. This. Breaks. A. Mother’s. Heart. And it makes me think about switching school’s or (ack) home schooling (ugh).

I DON’T want to home school but I don’t want my kid getting harassed and feel like a loser either. I DON’T want to get involved in a document trail of he-said-she-said (the principal is WAY into documenting every detail, I’m not so I feel unarmed).

How do I teach my children how to stand up for themselves without being disrespectful (not all adults are right or should be trusted, maybe the adult didn’t ask the right questions or believes the wrong person) or getting in trouble for doing it (if a kid hits mine but mine blocks or pushes to avoid then mine gets in trouble)? What is a kid supposed to do when someone else won’t stop being annoying?

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ButterLONDON Nail Polish

by Lucky Red Hen on February 19, 2011

Yesterday’s post was about the FUN of opening gifts and today I received a gift! What timing :D

As luck would have it (I love it when luck would have it my way), I won a giveaway on I Can Style U from butter LONDON (non-toxic nail care famous for NOT having formaldehyde, toluene, DBP, or parabens. It came with a hand written note from the Founding Creative Director, Nonie Creme (That’s her real last name!?! HOT!)

From their website: “This year her custom lacquer designs will be showcased on the catwalks of Vena Cava, Alexander Wang, Victoria Beckham, Calvin Klein, Betsey Johnson, Yigal Azrouel land Christian Cota.”

How COOL is THAT?!? I’ll be wearing the same polish as models on the cat walk!

(Can’t help but think of the SNL Miley Cyrus…) That’s pretty cool!

Check out the names the colors have, like: Aston, Dahling, Frilly Knickers, Minger, and Saucy Jack. This green color I won is called Dosh (my daughter’s favorite color right now… she’s SO excited).

The next time I fly, I’ll make time to visit the butter LONDON salon on Concourse C of the SeaTac Int’l Airport for a pedicure (they also do manicure’s and brow waxing)!

Thanks, Christie!!!

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A Zombie Shoot at Wade’s Eastside Guns

by Lucky Red Hen on February 16, 2011

The other day, Victor changed his Facebook profile photo to one of him at Wade’s Eastside Guns. Within minutes, Mike commented that he’d like to go with him next time. Because of FB’s clever cross-post-update-notifying, I saw the thread and invited myself, “I’d go with y’all. I pack my own heat ;)” Within two hours we had made plans to go five days later.

Here we are at our lane (you can have up to three people at each lane, which saves some cashola; first person fee is $15 and the next one to two are $10 each).

Here’s Victor getting some impromptu gun wisdom from a friendly Wade’s worker. ALL the staff that night were extremely helpful, knowledgeable, and encouraging.

The following two paragraphs in gray are about death (so skip it if you’re squeamish or don’t want to read it)…
The first time I heard about Wade’s was in 1997, right after a new friend was at the range with a girl who was trying a pretty powerful, unfamiliar gun. She had shot one bullet at the target. The gun recoiled up and shot again. That second shot pushed the gun back once more so that it was pointing behind her. Automatic reaction is to pull the gun down to the front, but in doing so her finger put pressure on the trigger and another shot fired and he was behind her, getting shot in the neck. He died before reaching the hospital. As soon as we all heard, shock fell upon us and remained for most of the week as his family came to town, we helped empty his apartment, and funeral arrangements were being made. It was an open casket funeral. At first I didn’t want to look (I’d rather his cute face show up in my memory instead of one without his spirit in it), but I guess that curiosity got the best of me because I got in line to pay my condolences see for myself how the mortician managed to mask the wound. They ended up wrapping his neck up with white fabric, making it look like an old-fashioned high collar, Mr. Darcy style. He looked, lovely. Really. As much as you would expect in that condition.

I’m not sure where the girl is now. She moved about a year later and we all lost touch with her. I think of her randomly; more often than him (sad). She’s probably felt alone since the accident, so that’s probably why it’s only when I’m alone that thoughts of her pass through. Hope she’s found peace. I know he has.

This is Mike, a.k.a. Bonnie’s dad, taking out Zombie Tom…

…Victor working on a target with my .38 special (wasn’t his favorite)…

…and me, concentrating on Zombie Tom. Victor bet me a dollar I couldn’t get Zombie Tom “downstairs” in one shot. Yeah, I’m a dollar richer ;) See the last picture for proof of my money shot, just under the belt buckle (close enough). Oh, the other thing about this action shot is that one of the staff tried getting me to change my posture EVEN THOUGH I HAD FIRED 3 SWEET ON-THE-BLACK SHOTS (he didn’t see them, just noticed my stance) and didn’t ask for instruction. But I listened and did what he told me for several rounds before I shook it off and went back to my way (straighter back, not bent forward at the waist like I’m pushing a grocery cart). That’s probably good form for others, but it did a number on my back muscles.

Mike proudly showing off his cluster of four shots. That would blow his head off if we were being attacked by (paper) Zombie’s!

Vic couldn’t show you where he hit Zombie Tom with the .38 because I’m not sure that he did, but he was able to get him a couple times with the 9 mil he’s holding in the photo.

I might’ve gotten him once with the 9 mil but my .38 worked just fine. It’s a gun my dad got for me in my early 20’s after I went shooting with him at an outdoor range. My first shot with a .22 hit my metal target and I was hooked. Guess all that practicing at Circus Circus as a child paid off! I’m a master at winning the watergun in the clown mouth to blow up a balloon until it pops game. Too bad the prizes aren’t worth paying to play.

Here’s a better close-up of Zombie Tom. Well worth the 2 bucks for him (the other small, bullseye targets are only four for $1). My aluminum bullets aren’t allowed on the range, so I had to buy (at a premium price, I’m sure) bullets from them for $19 ish (eye and ear protection is free).

The place was packed on a Friday night. Lots of guys firing LOUD hand guns and some just popping them off as fast as they could pull the trigger. Definitely a building full mostly of testosterone, a few geeks with really good aim and many trying-to-be buff guys showing off to each other. They run a tight ship at Wade’s, making sure that people follow the safety rules and help out willingly. I’ll be going back… maybe on a Tuesday when it’s Ladies Day 1/2 Price ;)

[remember to check yesterday’s post to enter the Nie Nie Dialogues 2011 calendar]

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After getting my zombie post all typed up, photos added, and ABC checked (isn’t that cuter than “spell”?), I realized it was TOO HEAVY to post on such a light holiday, especially with the NieNie Dialogues Calendar giveaway. But the good news is that I already have a full post ready with photos and stories!

Saturday we braved the crummy Seattle weather to beach comb for the Conversation Love Rocks, um, rocks (I couldn’t just say Rocks rocks, could I?) Traffic was a BEAST (pouring rain, even though Seattle is used to it, isn’t fun to drive through, and being a passenger in it is stressful) and I-520, the floating bridge, was packed as cars slowed because of the gusts of wind that made the bridge sway and threw water onto the eastbound traffic.

The calm north end of the lake vs. the choppy south side never ceases to amaze me. Rarely is the scene on each side the same, smooth calm. When it is, you’ll see kayaks, paddle boards, row boats, and standing surf paddling.

Luckily the rain let up long enough for us to find the rocks the kids needed for their Valentine’s. The far end of the beach area had lots for us to choose from as well as barnacled stones to inspect, giant climbing boulders, and photo ops.

Our time spent at the beach was little, so we hope to go more often when the weather is more comfortable for hanging out on the sand and in the water. Hopefully that will be sooner than later.

MONDAY GIVEAWAY!
How about this week we giveaway NieNie’s 2011 Wall Calendar?!? Yay! I ended up with an extra calendar, so I’ll pass along my goof ;) If you don’t already have a 2011 calendar or want another, leave a comment to this post telling me what your FAVORITE MONTH is! Mine is October, because I dig fall and Halloween. Here’s a photo of the actual calendar (and shipping envelope). This will be shipping from a Seattle, WA, USA area post office, so make sure I can ship it to you for under 5 bucks, ok? I don’t have advertisers or sponsors paying for shipping. This is coming from my sweet little home (and wallet) to yours :) Winner will be announced Thursday and with the this Saturday night as the deadline to claim the prize or another winner will be chosen (so come back, mkay?)

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Nautilus Cottage, Rm 4, in South Africa

Desi (Ricky, really) & Lucy had the right idea… separate beds.

But did you know they didn’t ALWAYS have separate beds? A little trivia for you from IMDB.com:

Although they slept in twin beds throughout the entire run of the series, during the first two seasons of the show, 1951-1953, Ricky and Lucy slept in twin beds that were pushed together in the same box spring. Once little Ricky was born CBS suggested that the beds be pushed apart to diminish the impact of the suggested sexual history of Lucy and Ricky. The only time we see the Ricardo’s in two bed pushed together again is when they first move to the bigger apartment in the Mertz building, however, subsequently after that the beds are pushed apart again.

I’ve been saying it for years now, but my husband won’t agree to it. Last night (and the night before, and a few nights before that when I was sick, and… you get the idea) I shuffled myself down the narrow, dimly lit hall, passing the miniature lazy guarddog in the front room, through our pretty, glass paned, French doors, to the TV room sectional couch for some ZZZ’s. (Woah, that’s a lot of comma’s and I don’t know if I used them right. Sorry.)

But by then, I was awake enough that it’d take me another hour or more to fall asleep. And I hadn’t been to sleep yet (even though I crawled into bed at 10pm). It was 2am ish (Yes, I use “ish” as it’s own word. On my blog, you will find several made-up words; 1) as an unpredictable connector, and 2) because I talk like that in real life.) and I felt just as tired as I did at 10pm.

You know how much stuff a person could get done in four-plus hours of solitary awakeness?!? No kids, no husband, no noises in the neighborhood. But when you’re lying there assuming you’ll be falling asleep in the next few minutes, you don’t realize you could just get your back end up out of bed and accomplish something other than conquering another Angry Birds level (pesky helmeted pigs).

Instead, I Tweeted my dilemma:

  • Who’s idea was it that married people had to sleep in the same bed? I want to punch that guy in the neck. #desiandlucybeds
  • Why does the snoring spouse get to stay in bed while the awoken spouse shuffles to the couch? #im2nice
  • King size blankets are never wide enough for adequate cocoon-style coverage. #breezy
  • Good thing about sleeping on my couch: raindrops on the skylights. #natureslullaby
  • Men: how do you keep your underarm hair from being tugged when you move your arm forward and back?

Alright, so the last Tweet had nothing to do with sleeping arrangements. But it’s a perfect example of how my brain works when it’d rather be sleeping. Argh. And I have been doing much better about not waking in the night to potty, so I’ve actually been sleeping through the night and avoiding insomniac episodes (My tip: I get all my fluid intake in before 5pm and try not to drink at all/much later).

After all that complaining, at least my family let me keep sleeping. The kids whispered (they must have, I didn’t wake up) and tiptoed getting ready (the italics make those words quiet, huh?) Daddy, the wiggly blanket hog snorer, got the kids off to school (“Thanks, Daddy!”) And the dog snuck up on the couch with me where she would be content to rest until I woke and NOT bark at the noises and people outside.

We have a semi-public walking/horse-riding trail directly behind our backyard. It’s awesome annoying when people literally high up on their horses don’t look away when we make eye contact.

I won’t tell you why they should watch where they’re going instead of peer into our house. (But if you know me at all, you know why.)

P.S. Don’t forget to enter this week’s giveaway!

P.S.S. My Green Smoothie this morning almost made me gag. THAT’S NOT USUAL and I’ll tell you why. I should have added frozen blueberries (I have them, just forgot to pull them out of the freezer) or at least some crushed ice. It was too room temperature and frothy. See, that goes to show you that you shouldn’t give up on GS’s because of one bad batch. ALL my others since the beginning (there were a couple that were so-so) have been refreshing and delicious. I promise ;)

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Anjelah Johnson (Beautiful Nail) at the Snoqualmie Casino

by Lucky Red Hen on February 1, 2011

This YouTube clip of comedian (which I like to pronounce com-E-DEE-ann instead of com-e-de-un, kind of feminizing it) Anjelah Johnson is a riot. Drea and I quote this set all the time. Maybe we should come up with our own jokes, but why reinvent the wheel, right?

  

My SIL’s aunt (THANKS, Linda!) invited four of us the day before the show (she bought the tickets for her and her kids a long time ago but didn’t realize until the night before that it’s a 21yrs and older show since it’s at a casino… woops! for her and yay! for us).

Lucky girls ready for Anjelah Johnson

The casino parking lot was PACKED (we shuttled to the parking garage), but it wasn’t for the show. People ACTUALLY go to this casino to hang out, drink, gamble, eat at the restaurants, and dance in their clubs. What?!? Really? I mean, I KNOW what a casino is for (my dad works in a casino), but I didn’t realize SO MANY people would drive all the way out there for that. The cigarette smoke alone, gag. Another thing that got me was the music in the club… 80’s pop (which I like, but it’s the leading theme for a dance club? Huh.)

Sisters-In-Law, but really friends

Little tidbit about my younger years… there are some families, like us, that reserve at least one night a week as Family Night. We turn off our phones and the TV and spend time together. Our kidlets look forward to this and are quick to remind us if we happen to space it. They love it. We love it. Growing up, my family would lay out a craps board and we’d bet with poker chips. I was pretty good (practice, practice, practice) and did alright when we took a family trip to the Peppermill in Reno. The best part about being a girl at a craps table? Old guys like to share their money with you with NO STRINGS ATTACHED (cute flick, by the way). Word.

Seat neighbors

What I don’t get about a comedy show… people on the front row getting up constantly to fill their drinks. It was SO distracting. Why pay front row prices if you’re going to spend a quarter of your time getting booze? Maybe you should arrange for bigger cups; or bring your Camel Back as your flask. Sit down!

Anjelah Johnson at Snoqualmie Casino 2011

If you have a chance to see her, do it. She did NOT disappoint (you know how you see a movie preview and find out later that the ONLY good parts were in that preview because the rest of the movie sucked? Yeah, she’s not like that.)

P.S. The other thing you should do? Leave me a comment, especially on yesterday’s post so you can have a chance to win a FREE Blog Header. The winner will be announced Thursday!

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bookmark

Don't you LOVE free surprises?

Boy howdy I’m excited! Are you? You ARE? (fist pump) Yesss! I knew it.

Are you here because you want to win the giveaway? No? You’re here because you love me and want to see me happy that you’re here? Yesss (another fist pump)! I AM happy you’re here. Muah!

Let’s start the launch by sharing my favorite book and reason for the above photo. However, before I tell you what my favorite book is, I must disclose to you my thoughts, exactly…

I’m not a good reader, you see, I prefer being out of doors.
Oh, I mean, I can read, of course.
And I’m not suggesting you can’t read out of doors, of course.
I wish I read more, but there always seems to be so many other things to do.
Yes, that is exactly what I meant.
Mr. Bingley and Jane Bennett ~ Pride & Prejudice

Many years ago, I saw a book review in People magazine that intrigued me then a week later my friend Ashley suggested I recommend it as my pick for the next BookClub. It’s hard to recommend a book to ardent book club women when you DON’T READ.

I was/am a beginner reader. I didn’t/don’t have a favorite author, genre, or series like other ladies. Most of the books I’ve read have come as suggestions/gifts from friends who know me, not Book Club lists or Oprah’s Book Club.

Speaking of OBC, I swore off her recs midway through House of Sand and Fog. Even though I finished it (hard for me to stop a book/movie cold turkey; I need closure), I wish I hadn’t started it. SUPER well written (coming from someone who doesn’t really know what that means exactly, except that the book MADE me finish it), but so incredibly depressing, leaving me feeling a bit depressed. Maybe I care too much, and it seems silly that it’d be over a book character of all things. You’ll find me crying at commercials or when I see a stranger be kind to another.

*ahem* Wait a minute. That’s not the direction I was going. Boo hoo. Cut it out.

Tender at the Bone, by Ruth Reichl (NY Times Restaurant Critic and Gourmet Magazine’s Editor in Chief) is my all time favorite read. It’s her story about how she grew up to appreciate food, from when she was a wee one to college. It’s funny and there’s recipes. The next book Comfort Me with Apples continues the story. Now I’m reading the third, Garlic and Sapphires, which is where I discovered the cute owl card/bookmark. It’s like there was a sticker on the outside of the library book saying… FREE PRIZE INSIDE! Sweet! Free is right up my alley.

Now I’m trying to think of what free prize I can leave in it. Wonder if the person who left the owl was the first to do that, maybe it was an accident and they didn’t mean to leave their bookmark in it, or they were paying it forward from someone who did it before them. Who knows, but I like it!

Speaking of FREE PRIZE… I know you want to win a $65 value custom Blog Header from The Blog Fairy(the reason I am blogging again/today)! Maybe you’re in need of more than just a header… that’s ok, just pay her the difference! Check the available services and the waiting list on The Blog Fairy’s website. Here are beautiful examples of some of her Blog Header designs:

To enter the giveaway: leave a comment on this post with your blog address/link and that you’d like a custom Blog Header. If you’re not entering the giveaway (maybe you already have what you need, don’t blog, or want someone else to win), please leave me a comment anyway. I’d like to know who came to see/read me. And, everyone, come back tomorrow and the next day! The winner will be announced this Thursday (that’s the day F.R.I.E.N.D.S. aired on TV, and I like friends).

Thank you, Blog Fairy, for making all my dreams (and a lucky winner’s) come true!

P.S. You have a light hearted, happy ending book recommendation for me?

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