STOP IT : Gossiping (Lying)

Lying sucks. Add gossiping to that and you get nothing but a bowl full of nasty.

It’s no surprise that people talk about me/you behind my/your back. This isn’t news. I’m actually used to it. Not that I like it, but I’ve accepted the fact that it will/does happen, and I cannot change it so why get bent out of shape about it. (If only someone would invent a remote control that will MUTE gossipers.)

A thread on Facebook that started with “So here’s the deal… DON’T LIE TO ME!” was a trigger to write this post. Here are comments from it:

• Lying is the ONE thing that EVERYONE has control over. When you lie you make a conscience decision to do it… and for some it comes naturally.
• Why is NOT lying so stinkin’ difficult for so many people?
• I will never put up with that again… from anyone! One of my biggest pet peeves too.
• A lie is one of the worst things you can ever do to degrade yourself; it is one of the most difficult things to undo. You may be in trouble for telling the truth, but to lie makes things twice as bad. Tell the truth, take your punishment and live with your choices!
• Lying shows a persons weak character, what they lie about shows their heart!
• You know some folks just don’t get it. Delete from your life. Don’t waste your time with them.
• Some people don’t lie just to get out of trouble and lots of times the truth wouldn’t even mean punishment. Making up a story to make you look better to the world, ugh! Then there’s lying by omission, just NOT telling. JUST TELL THE TRUTH!
• People who, in general, walk in truth live an easier life because they would not do something they would have to lie about later.

That last comment is me to a tee. My memory is kinda horrible. Having to remember what I lied about to not get caught is impossible for me so I tell the truth. Well, I tell the truth because that’s the right thing to do (even if I had a good memory).

Another trigger was an unexpected text exchange yesterday with a friend…
Buddy:  He’s in deep trouble with a lot of people. He has not been good about telling the truth. Truth is important to me.
Me:  Dude, you’re preaching to the choir!
Buddy:  That is what I love about you. Could tell from day one. Your word is WORD.

I’m glad people recognize that in me, if nothing else. The trick is when I find out someone, especially someone close to me (who really, REALLY knows better), has lied to me. And if you BOLD FACE lie to me after I’ve specifically asked you up front…

Maybe it’s that I find it hard to forgive
the follies and vices of others,
or their offenses against me.
My good opinion, once lost,
is lost forever. – Mr. Darcy

Yesterday’s LDS General Conference had a poignant talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf that I’ve already reread, and it’s made me ponder what I should do when I find out I’ve been crossed, lied to, gossiped and talked negatively about behind my back. Just be honest with me and we’ll get along swimmingly.

I created this artwork based on President Uchtdorf’s message:

I adhere to the lesson, “Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me.” I don’t have a problem with forgiving. We are imperfect people, we (I) make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stick around to keep getting burned.

Sometimes we have to look at friendships/relationships with people and say, “That was good while it lasted, it served its purpose. Now we move on to other life experiences.” They could be FABULOUS people, full of joy, love, honesty, and whatever else. Just because we no longer maintain a relationship doesn’t mean either of us are bad or something went wrong. Maybe that one is done to make room for the next.