Clearing out my pantry inevitably creates more projects that I don’t need at the time (or ever, right?)
When I “clean” the house, it ALWAYS (I’m not kidding) turns out messier than I started.
Piles are formed and left for days (until I find the perfect place for the treasures; and everything in my house IS a treasure… pfft), laundry gets put aside for yet another week (thus the very reason I invested in more socks and underwear for my family), food is tossed with the promise we will buy responsibly and eat it before it’s been expired for two years (no joke; reminds me of that Hoarder episode with the elderly lady who had 10+ yogurt containers in her extra fridge from TWO YEARS AGO… at least my expired is random cans (beets, pears, Dinty Moore beef soup) that got shoved back in the depths of the cupboard) and dusting (which rarely happens)/vacuuming is put off until right before we have guests coming over.
Today’s case-in-point… The pantry goods are covering every square inch of my kitchen counters so I forfeit making school lunches for hot lunch (which is something that doesn’t happen often… I make healthy lunches they like for less than the $2.50 school lunch). Begin the hunt for ca$h: in couch cushions (no, if I don’t ever have money in my pockets, how can it fall out?), secret hiding spots (which I forget about and don’t have money in any way), jeans pockets, purses, wallets and junk drawers*.
Ah! JUNK DRAWER! Found a bowl with some change (plus old keys, a jelly bean, 3 swirl paper clips, a twist tie, ear buds, a broken seashell, penciless eraser and Nickel Arcade tokens from 3+ years ago in another state). Sent the children off with $2.50 each in quarters (“MOM! You’re making us pay with QUARTERS?!?”)
Counted out the rest of the change to the tune of $42 and change. You’d think I’d be sooo excited about FORTY-TWO ‘FREE’ DOLLARS; which I am, deep inside); but more exciting is that I now have a stash of pennies for a necklace project I wanted to try… but the pennies are filthy (nobody wants to wear filthy money, right?) Disregard the fact that my kitchen counters are covered in pantry food (bonus: empty pantry!); I have a garage full of items to Craig’s List (pink wooden play kitchen, vintage shabby twin bed frame), donate (more clothes and toys) and refurbish (coffee table and two lazy Suzan’s); family reunion photos to download, edit and distribute; my desk to organize; the family file cabinet to sift through; and whatever else I’m behind on.
So out comes a cutting board, paper towels, Tabasco Sauce, tweezers and cotton swabs for me to play scientist. My 7yo came home a while back with a school project of testing different cleansers on dirty pennies and Tabasco worked the best. Some of the pennies were so filthy that I couldn’t tell the date (don’t imagine all those germs). The oldest I’ve uncovered so far is from 1969!
“Sixty-nine, dude!” Name that movie…
*Those two words should NOT BE plural.