The Mole

…and I’m not talking about the TV show, wish I were.

The other night, when I was at the computer, Piper came over to me and asked, “Mommy, did you buy a mole for Posie to play with?” Not catching what she really said, I stopped what I was doing to look at her and asked her to repeat what she said. “Did YOU buy POSIE a MOLE to PLAY with,” she asked, like I was hard of hearing (which I am, but that’s beside the point).

At this point I (probably scrunched my nose as) I asked, “What are you talking about? What ‘mole’? Where is it?” Sometimes she gets her words mixed up.

As in today when we were watching The Waterhorse. She said, “What’s affirm tie?” What? “Affirminim taaaiiiieeee,” she said slowly. In the movie, they were talking about afternoon tea.

So back to Posie’s new toy. Piper explained that daddy said mommy bought Posie a new chew toy and it’s (points behind the couch, out of view) over there. “What does it look like,” I asked with my furrowed brow (because I’m really not getting what she’s trying to say)? She lays on the couch with her arms and legs bent up into the air and her hands cupped like bowls, looking a lot like a dead cockroach. It was hilarious, so I laugh, then ask her to do it again (while she giggled because I was laughing so hard).

We have a few chew toys for the dog: a 2.5″ stuffed pig with a squeaker in it’s tummy, fuzzy teddy bear and a duck. None of them fit her description, so I got up off my bum and walked around the couch to see.

O.

My.

Gosh.

It’s something I’ve never seen before, and it looked exactly like Piper showed me. I froze in place, not sure what it is or if I’d startle it if in fact it was ALIVE. Then I was sure daddy was playing a joke on me and sent Piper out to be the scapegoat. “Dddaaaaddy!!!!,” I yelled toward the back of the house (really, how am I supposed to do the punctuation with quotations?).?. Honestly, I could’ve just SAID it because the house isn’t large enough to have to yell, LOL.

“What IS THIS?!”

“What is WHAT?” Ben replied.

“Get over here NOW,” I demanded!

He and Jack came trotting down the hall, saw what I was talking about and, nonchalantly, replied, “Oh, that’s the new toy you bought Posie to play with. She’s been chewing on it the last couple hours. Had it on the couch, in her bed, throwing it around the family room. She’s been having a blast with it.”

“I did NOT buy that thing,” I shrieked.

“Then where’d it come from?”

“I don’t KNOW where it CAME FROM but YOU’RE getting RID of it!”

“But Posie has been having so much fun with it. Maybe it’s one of the kids’ toys.”

With my voice raised a few octaves, “No, it is NOT one of the kids’ toys. GET. RID. OF. IT.”

We both leaned over toward it and realized it was a dead one of these…

…in our family room, on the floor, after a few hours of being flung around by the dog.

Everybody, squirm with me…. eeeeewwwwwwww.