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When the 1st freaky thing happened this week (technically it was Saturday, but if we’re counting a week as 7 days I’m within the time frame, as opposed to Sunday – Saturday) I wasn’t shocked. I suppose I should’ve been, like everyone else in proximity, but I wasn’t.

As soon as Jack’s soccer game started the action began; off the field, not on (well, on the field of course because there are a bunch of 6 year olds running around after a ball). I glance over and see a mom ask her little 4yr old girl if the baby ate anything while finger-swiping the baby’s mouth and pounding on his back. Other parents around surrounded her suggesting different techniques to get the lodged item out while I stood there, in my same spot, watching. I noticed the baby’s body go limp before anyone else did (the mom was still trying to get whatever it was out of the mouth) and proceeded to call 911 (the baby quickly turned purple/blue). There had to have been about 6 other parents hovering over but nobody heard me say I’m calling 911. As the operator asked me where we were the mom squealed to call 911 and I finally got through to them that I was already on the phone and the paramedics were on their way. I was the only one staying calm. Maybe it was because I don’t know the mom or the baby. Perhaps it’s because I don’t usually freak out in emergencies (I could tell you stories about the school losing my kindergartener SEVERAL times last year). Whatever the reason I’m glad that’s the way I am because you need someone to keep their cool sometimes. It was almost like I was standing outside of myself – kinda; it was a very scary situation. Afterwards another mom complimented me on my ability to stay calm and quickly call 911. Somebody had to. I hope that if ever (knock on wood) I have a moment of panic involving my children that someone near will be calm for me. (The baby finally came too and the mom drove him to the hospital before the paramedics arrived.)

So that was 1.

Then yesterday Piper and I were running errands (she’s done with the UTI that involved E Coli – that is another story too; but now has a nasty let’s-wake-up-every-hour head/chest cold) and stopped at Kohl’s to do a return. Oh, and compulsive shop…picked up a pink Happy Bunny shirt for Piper that reads, “I already know I’m perfect so stop staring.” As we left the store and got to the car I noticed 2 women running with a baby stroller to their car. Hmm. Whatever. Put Piper in her seat and looked back at their car. They were grabbing PILES of baby clothes on hangers out of the bottom basket of the stroller and tossing them onto the floor of the back seat – no Kohl’s bags in sight. They were RUSHING to get the baby (there was a real baby in the stroller at least) and the merchandise into the car while looking over their shoulder at the store doors. Shoplifters, definitely. Got into my car and pulled up to the store doors to go tell the cashier (prices go up to compensate for shoplifters — I LIKE the cheap deals). As I drove out after them (they were TEARING out of the parking lot), trying not to look suspicious, I got their license plate number and called the number on my Kohl’s receipt to report it. After a zillion “Push X for jewelry. Push Y for childrens…” I finally got a live person and gave them the info.

So, what should my new name be in the Witness Protection Program? I hope they relocate us to some place exotic and tranquil. What would you want yours to be?

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My bro-in-law is a WINNER!!!

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As the title reads, I think I’ll grow my hair out again. Right now it’s just a little longer than in my avatar but still the same shape.

What triggered my desire to change it was my first group ride with the LOH (Ladies of Harley) a couple weeks ago. We rode down to Payson and had a delicious dinner at some place down there – it’d be good if I remembered the name but I don’t. While we ate, a guy named Jesse played guitar and sang for us – he was good – I liked it loads. Anyway… One of the riders has long blonde hair (like mine used to be for years) and it was pulled back in one giant pony with a bunch of ties about every 2 inches to keep it in place. Honestly, it looked like how they sometimes do horse tails – but better. As I watched her ride, I realized that if I grew out my hair again and put it in a pony I’d look less like a lesbian than I do now (with the short hair and no make-up; my body’s a little butch too in my leathers). Nothing against lez’ but I just don’t want to be mistaken for one and get hit on then have to let the poor gal down by telling her that I’m straight and married. I’d be doing it to save others the embarrassment.

See how nice I am?

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Last night I made scrambled eggs (added cilantro & cheddar cheese), ham and toast for dinner. My 6yr old son, Jack, requested it especially. He saw me add the cilantro and asked what it was. After telling him it’s an herb/seasoning he asked if he could try it to see if he likes it. Um, no, it’s something you try when it’s IN the food (could you imagine tasting ANY herb sans food and liking it?). He was fine with my answer and we moved on.

In the middle of dinner he finally says, out of turn and loudly,

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Don’t you wish all compliments were that charged? I do ;o)

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Today I had a day off so Piper and I trudged off to find shoes (found a pair at Famous Footwear only to be disappointed, yet again, that my gigantic size 11 shoe size wasn’t available in the style I wanted). While browsing the aisles at Target (specifically the end-caps with all the clearance goodies), I remembered that I wanted to buy teaspoon/tablespoon measuring cups that you can see from standing.

Finding only the cup sizes and not smaller I asked a nice girl in red and khaki for help (if you wear that color at Target you’re GONNA get asked questions; luckily she’s an employee). She led me right to them (honestly, they were packaged in 3’s and hanging up instead of sitting next to all the other measuring cups – about 24″ in front of where I was; embarrassing).

As I walked away to glance at the George Foreman’s (I need to replace the one I threw in the garbage – it really is nice to cook with IF you have the removable grills that can go in the dishwasher), another lady asked the helper if they had microplaners. The helper girl, I swear, said they didn’t carry them and told her to buy one at a home improvement store like HOME DEPOT in the woodworking section. Seriously. I couldn’t stand it so I chimed in (because I can’t seem to help myself; I think I get that from my mother) that she could find them at Bed, Bath & Beyond, William-Sonoma, Sur la Table or Orson Gygi but to definitely find the one with the protective cover. She was thrilled I knew Orson Gygi and asked me more about the microplaner and what I use it for (lemons, limes, chocolate, ginger root, Parmesan and other hard cheeses). Then a friend of hers popped up next to us and said, “I can’t believe the people they let into this store!” as a joke and giggle, of course. We all chatted a little about the microplaner then she (the new lady, Laurie) asked us for our opinion on the purple bath rug and toilet seat cover she had in her arms, “I’m not really in love with these but my bathroom is purple and the white rug & cover are just too hard to keep bright. What do you think of these?” Known for my honest demeanor I told her they’re dumb (sometimes the words I chose aren’t the most intelligent) and I could sense why she didn’t like them either. “Try the looped-style instead,” I suggested. “I saw those but the color is a dusty purple, with a little gray undertone, not the same purple as my other bathroom things,” she replied. “Well, the texture would give you the look you want and you don’t have to be so matchy-matchy on the purple or it’ll be overkill in there,” I retorted (is that the right term?). Her eyes lit up, she headed off to the bath section and came back with my suggested rug & cover then reported proudly, “The rug is even on CLEARANCE! I’m so glad I ran into you and got an honest answer because I really didn’t like what I picked out before!” Then she introduced herself, I reciprocated, and we all went off happily ever after.

Then we went to Holy Cow (weekend boutique) and I commented to a gal walking out that I liked her purchase that was setting on top of her stroller; she smiled and did small chit-chat as we walked past each other. The man inside selling soup and dip seasoning packets chatted it up with me until I noticed and mentioned to him that the Scrumptious Spinach Dip was spelled on his display as “scrupmtious”; he said that signs been that way for 4 years and nobody’s said anything about it. Then I schooled a young girl (by young I mean about 20ish) on The Mod Bod shirts while the booth girl was busy with customers; she was glad because she found the exact one she wanted and it was ON SALE (in case you’re in the area… it’s the Holy Cow at the PG recreation center until this Saturday and The Mod Bod has about 6 colors in all styles on sale for $7.95). On our way back to the car I noticed a lady with an embroidered denim jacket on and said, “I love your embroidered jacket!” Once she realized I was talking to her (because her daughter, who was with her, bumped her and repeated what I said), she looked back confused-like and said thanks.

I talk to strangers – is that strange (because it seems to be, sometimes, to others)?

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Honestly, I’m not M.I.A.; I’m an intern with my idol photographer, Davina Fear.

This lasts for 6wks so I’m stuffing in as much time with her as possible. Forgive me for neglecting my peeps – you are all in my thoughts ;o)

I do read your blogs, when I have a tiny bit of down-time or waiting for pictures to download, so keep ’em up!

Luv, me

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There’s something about me.

Something that makes people think I wear one of those blue vests that reads “How may I help you?”

Today it happened twice while shopping/browsing/people-watching at Swiss Days in Midway, Utah. Cathy is my witness.

Actually, now that I’m recalling the instances, I think it was 3 times.

Anyway, this happens everywhere I go; Walmart, Target, the grocery store, boutiques, etc.

Them: “Excuse me, where’s the toilet paper?”
Me: Well, I don’t work here but it’s 1/2 way down on aisle 3.

Them: “What size is this bracelet?”
Me: This isn’t my booth, but it looks like it’s for a 3-5 year old.

Them: “Do you have anymore of these?”
Me: No, I don’t.

Them: “How much is this?”
Me: $13.95 or 2 for $25.

Them: “What’s this for?”
Me: It cleans out ear wax.

Them: “Do you have these in my size?”
Me: No because your size shouldn’t wear things like this.

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