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Y’all know I’m not Chinese, but I like Chinese people, Americanized Chinese Food, Feng Shui, bento, Buddha, rice, the color red, bamboo, paper lanterns, dragons, watercolor, inari maki and lettering.

My 1/2 bath on the main floor is decorated with Asian flare: the walls & ceiling are painted a dark chocolate brown, a golden wooden Buddha sits in the corner on the floor, a small ornate stool waits under the sink for the vertically challenged, smooth stones rest in the bowl of the sink with handmade soaps settled within, matchstick blinds are attached along the 1/2 bottom of the walls running up and down, a hundred year old handmade apron from China (thanks Sandra) hangs above the toilet, 6 votive candles rest patiently upon the shelf next to a miniature Chinese plate (thanks Steph) and brown textured candles. A giant painted fan from San Fransisco in muted colors of green, beige and gray spreads along the largest wall (Buddist friends of mine told me the writing on the fan means prosperity, good luck and peace).

According to Wikipedia, my Chinese Zodiac animal is the Boar (good thing, because I like pork). I knew that from the first time I met my bio-dad, Gary, and his wife, Jo, 10 years ago. We went to a museum in Portland that had Asian artifacts on display. They bought me a small card that identified my Zodiac according to my birthdate. A couple years ago when vacationing on the Oregon coast (I love it there), I came across a solitary urban-style necklace with my Zodiac on it that now hangs in my bathroom when I’m not wearing it. Think I’ll have to put it on today.

According to customary superstition, the Pig type is usually an honest, straightforward and patient person (I don’t know about ‘patient’ but the rest is certainly true). They are a modest, shy character (not so much) who prefers to work quietly behind the scenes (believe it or not, I do). When others despair, they are often there to offer support (mm-hm). This type of person is reserved with those they do not know too well (wish that were true), but as time passes and they gain confidence, those around them may discover a lively and warm-hearted person (and more tender-hearted than anyone realizes) behind that mask of aloofness. Despite those born in the year of pig having a wide circle of friends and acquaintances, they have few close friends who understand them and share their inner thoughts and feelings (this is COMPLETELY true, came to that conclusion just recently). It is easy to put trust in pig type; they won’t let you down and will never even attempt to do so (true dat). Such people simply want to do everything right according to social norms (‘want’ being the active word).

Also according to customary superstition, that these people are not vengeful creatures (I don’t like to spread bad kharma because it’ll just bounce right back atcha). If someone tries to take advantage of them, the pig type tend to withdraw to reflect on the problem and protect themselves (because nobody else can do it for me). All they need in such situations is a little time (since I don’t often use a filter; gotta work on that) to find a constructive way to respond (I can come up with something clever). The people of the pig type are conservative creatures of habit. They dislike being made to travel too far from familiar surroundings (I like precise directions and don’t like getting lost; I like traveling by air to visit friends), unless it is a trip to the countryside (wouldn’t it be lovely to have a place in the English countryside?). They love nature and are never happier than when they are out somewhere, far from the city (sans TV, cell phones, computers but I MUST have my camera; I [heart] the sound of nature… wind through the trees, birds chirping, small animals scattering through the forest floor and water flowing and bubbly).

There is a tolerant (sometimes TOO much) and peaceful side to the character of Pig types. Such people are never afraid to allow others their freedom of expression (who am I to tell people how to behave?); they do not want to cause arguments and if there is any way to avoid arguing, they will probably take this option (no matter which ‘side’ I’m on, I do enjoy playing devils advocate so that both sides are represented fairly – many times both sides are right in their own way). They are not weak, however, and if the situation forces them to fight these people will rise to the occasion, whether it is to defend themselves or those close to them (I probably defend others more than myself; I can take the heat because I am confident but don’t like seeing others put down). People of the Boar type are the most admired by others (‘admired’?).

Red Packets (I like this custom)
Traditionally, red packets are passed out during the Chinese New Year’s celebrations, from married couples or the elderly to unmarried juniors. It is common for adults to give red packets to children. Red packets are also known as 压岁钱 (Ya Sui Qian, literally, age suppressing money) during this period.

The red envelopes always contain money, usually varying from a couple of dollars to several hundred. The amount of money in the red packets should be of even numbers, as odd numbers are associated with cash given during funerals (白金 : Bai Jin). Since the number 4 is considered bad luck, money in the red envelopes never adds up to $4. However, the number 6 is considered lucky, and $6 is commonly found in the red envelopes.

Click here for more information on the Chinese New Year.

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Monday was my first day back from my trip and I was pretty bummed leaving behind all those great people. Figured I’d try to feed my sorrows because a full belly has made me feel better in the past. For lunch I had leftover stuffed crust cheese pizza, Ruffles and dip. Didn’t fulfill me. So I suggested One Man Band (Piper calls it Ban Ban) for dinner that night and got my regular chicken fried steak, gravy, baked potato and scone with honey butter (and a few swipes of my fork on Jack’s pancakes and Piper’s sausage). Nope. Still didn’t feel better. Made me feel wasteful of all that food and money that paid for it. After that meal I had a light bulb moment: I do NOT feel better just because I eat something. Food is not the answer. Food does NOT make me happy. I LIKE to eat (everyone who knows me knows that; especially Erin wink wink) but this week I don’t.

Monday: stuffed crust pizza, chips, dip, chicken fried steak, baked potato, scone & scraps.
Tuesday: Slimfast-style drink, Slimfast-style drink and a handful of mini-baby carrots.
Wednesday: Slimfast-style drink and 6″ turkey sub.
Thursday: Slimfast-style drink, about 15 grapes and handful of almonds.
Friday: Slimfast-style drink that I just finished with ibuprofen (threw out my back on Tuesday)

I’m just NOT hungry. Plus, my back is in so much pain that I don’t feel like getting up to prepare anything. Luckily the kids are either at school or Linda’s playing (thank goodness for Linda – love YOU). So it’s not like I’m white-trash mom laying on the couch ignoring my children :o)

Then last night I took a nap at 6:45 (tired of all the pain). Woke about 10:30pm, watched School for Scoundrels (wouldn’t recommend it but Billy Bob Thornton really does it for me) then jumped into the guest bed to go back to sleep because Piper was in mine and I couldn’t move her.

What in the world is going on with me?

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A – Available or Single: Neither, I’m happily married (9yr anniversary this year) to Ben.

B – Best Friend: My Lisa, 10 yrs this year; but I have numerous “besties” (you know who you are).

C – Cake or Pie: Pumpkin pie (anytime of year) or cheesecake (our wedding cake my mom fabulously made; 5 tiers and all handmade). Brownies.

D – Drink of Choice: Lemonade, preferably pink. Raspberry Italian Soda with Cream. Hot chocolate with Postum (lots) or Pero (teaspoon) and hazelnut flavoring.

E – Essential Item You Use Everyday: Computer. On it throughout the day, usually. I should be using my camera everyday (getting my new one on MONDAY – I’m so excited).

F – Favorite Color: To wear, pink and/or brown. To look at, red and/or black.

G – Gummy Bears or Worms: Pronounced “goo-me” (Gumi) in Germany and soft, squishy bears all the way (although I could do without the green ones).

H – Hometown: Don’t have one but some I say are Clovis (6), Spokane (6) and Seattle/Redmond (5); I say I’m from Redmond, WA (born in San Diego).

I – Indulgence: Éclairs; I prefer them naked (without the chocolate on top unless it’s REALLY good chocolate but the grocery stores usually just pile icing on top – barf).

J – January or February: February because it’s closer to getting winter over with. Ben and I celebrate VD either before or after the actual day (14th) but not on Friday or Saturday.

K – Kids and Names: Jack is 7 tomorrow and he’s named after my grandpa who didn’t sire children of his own and Piper who’s a kick in my pants. I hope that there are 2 more out there (but I’m not physically birthing them); a boy that was born in ’01 and his sister who was born in ’02 and they are mentally, emotionally and physically sound (within reason, of course); orphans?

L – Life is Incomplete Without: Faith in Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven. Or Pringles. Or forgiveness. Or Chapstick.

M – Marriage Date: March 28, 1998 (I picked March because it begins with M and the 28th because that’s my birth date in May (write that down because I like gifts if they’re EXACTLY what I ask for or VERY sentimental or thoughtful) – so all Ben needs to do is remember the 28th in any Month that starts with M).

N – Number of Siblings: One younger brother (by 7 yrs), Jason, who was almost Matthew. We’re not uber close but I love him and glad he’s a good guy. Then there are Ben’s siblings: Bridgette & Mark, Britanny & Jake, Brett, Bryant and Brad.

O – Oranges or Apples: Tangerines; sweet & sassy. Love the smell.

P – Phobias or Fears: I don’t do well with heights. My fear is my children getting hurt, maimed or killed (especially in the street).

Q – Fave Quote: You’re unique; just like everyone else. –and- You don’t make time. Time is always there. You just decide what to do with it. – Yours truly

R – Reason to Smile: My children who are the funniest kids I know. Or when my husband makes me laugh (he can really make me bust a gut even though he’s not a comedian).

S – Season: Fall for the crisp air, turning leaves, sweaters, bundling up on the couch, cider, Hot Pumpkin Surprise Cake with fresh whipped cream, sunsets and fireplaces.

T – Tag 3 or 4 People: b., cjane, elpasorepresentyo, formerly phread.

U – Unknown Fact About Me: Not much that people don’t know about me because I’m too honest. I had breast reduction surgery in 1994 and hope to again now that I’m done having kids.

V – Vegetable You Don’t Like: Green peppers; abhor them but wish I liked them.

W – Worst Habit: Chewing my finger skin (not my nails). Buying things on sale BECAUSE they’re on sale (thinking that I’ll have use for them someday).

X – X-rays You’ve Had: As a baby with broken femur, right middle finger (basketball) and back.

Y – Your Fave Food: Anything with a white sauce (preferably Alfredo), medium-rare filet mignon, peanut butter cookies, Tom Kah Gai, Bags of Gold, chocolate & Wendy’s fries (but not all in the same meal).

Z – Zodiac Sign: Gemini but I don’t put much stock in the Zodiac. I do, however, have a fun time with the Chinese New Year. This (2007) is MY year (the Boar) beginning February 18th when it officially begins.

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A lot of you know about my slight interest in losing a pant size or 2. ‘Slight interest’ is the term I use because I’m not a) actively seeking, b) working out or c) on some kind of restrictive diet. My philosophy on this journey of mine is that I am paying better attention to what I eat and when. For the most part I’m having a Kirkland weight loss pre-made-in-a-can chocolate drink (like Slim-Fast) for breakfast (instead of my 3 servings-size cereal in milk; granted it’s Kashi Go Lean but still) and usually for lunch too. If I’m running out the door and it’s mealtime, I’ll grab a can to take the edge off so I’m not chowing down through the drive-thru. I have a problem with forgetting to eat. I know a lot of you will roll your eyes over that comment but I just get past the point and get the shakes. Not the hippy–hippy-shakes kind either.

I’m trying to eat more fruits & veggies but during the off-season they’re not as appealing as summertime. Less and less will I chose fried foods, but I still eat them when they’re available (like the fried cauliflower at Lon’s Cookin‘ Shack in Provo or the fried appetizer cone at The Pine restaurant up near SLC).

I don’t believe in denying myself the simple pleasure of food. I DO believe that moderation is the key; you won’t see me at Lon’s every week. Wendy’s is our fast-food of choice where I’ll get the grilled chicken burger with fries and a Sprite or rootbeer. I figure the chicken is better for me than the beef and bacon (which I’ll get from time to time), the fries I just can’t resist (but I don’t supersize) and the non-caffeinated beverages work better with my body. You will NOT find me at McDonald’s unless it’s to get breakfast (that McGriddle is disgustingly yummy).

I’ve gone back and forth between caffeine and not for years – even before I joined my church. Back in the day of hotelier work when I had free access to the soda machine I was ADDICTED to my giant thermal mug of Pepsi. Then I heard some report about how it’s addictive (this was back in, oh, 1992ish) so I changed my habit to milk (had free access to the milk too). Well, that little change ended up being HUGE and I was having KILLER headaches (close to migraine as you could get), the shakes and felt sluggish ALL THE TIME. It was obvious that caffeinated drinks had a powerful hold on how my body operated. It took me a good month to get over that episode (was pretty darned cranky) and since then I’ve gotten back on and off the wagon but never really re-instated the severity. Just recently I had been having about 1 caffeinated pop per day and noticed I wasn’t sleeping through the night and if I woke up to noise or needing to potty (the word we use with the kids but I usually say ‘I gotta pee’) I’d be up for a good couple hours before hitting the pillow hard – then the next day was zombie like. So I stopped pop again recently (switched to Sprite and rootbeer) and have been sleeping harder, through the night, can get back to sleep if I wake up and feel rested in the morning.

Alright, off the caffeine soapbox. Onto the main reason I started this story.

So here I am slowly reducing my pant size (depending on stretch I have dropped 2 sizes) just by adopting the idea of watching what I eat, reducing my calorie intake (I don’t count, I just average but my downfall is portions – I love to keep eating) and paying attention to WHEN I eat (I try not to eat after 7pm). If I worked out I bet it’d be even better but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Anyway… yesterday I had a photo shoot at 4pm then meeting for carpool to our photographer get-together at 5:45pm. I ran out of the house with everything I needed (including the dry cleaning – the coat from catching the horse and the duvet cover from the dog getting sick, that was grosser than gross) EXCEPT a belt to hold my pants up. One of my pet peeves (I have several, so here’s just one) is having to see people’s butt-cracks or underwear because they can’t keep their pants up without having to hoist them every few minutes. Get a friggin‘ belt, I say! Well, I forgot mine and was in a pickle. Didn’t have time (or gas waste) to run back home and get one of the 7 or so belts I own so I called my dear, sweet friend that lived in the vicinity and about the same size as me. The belt was waiting there when I arrived and I started putting it on. It’s a GOOD belt; brown leather with a strong normal-looking buckle (no frou–frou). Well, I get to the smallest hole and realize that in order for it to work properly (keep my butt-crack hidden) it needed to be a smidgen smaller. Ooh, how am I gonna ask for a smaller belt?

“Um, (insert name here), I don’t mean to be rude or anything but do you happen to have a smaller belt?”

Yeah, no matter how you say it, it still stings. I tried to emphasize that I only needed one more hole smaller, so it wasn’t a lot but then she pointed out that she’s 2 or 3 holes from the smallest. I also reminded her that she just had a baby and has been doing great with her Weight Watchers program (she’s really good about following it, it’s hard for me to commit to). Her hubby ended up poking a hole in the belt and saving the world from my crack.

She hardly ever reads my blog (because she’s hardly ever on the computer) but if she does, or you figure out who I’m talking about, then just know this… I LOVE her and she’s WONDERFUL and MARVELOUS and I like her just the way she is. Oh, and I don’t mean to toot my own horn at her expense; that’s why I’m not mentioning names or posting a picture of her backside (that was her request).

Q: What do you do when you want to share an accomplishment that might hurt the feelings of others? For example… announcing a pregnancy when you have family that struggles to conceive, tell everyone about a promotion when friends can’t find a job, share the happy news of your children’s success when another parent is having trouble with theirs, etc.?

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So I’m driving home tonight, 8:30ish, and about to push the button to open the garage door when I notice something LARGE out of the corner of my eye. We’re on the side of a mountain and have a couple herds of deer that tromp through the neighborhood every single night (especially with all the snow). But this was different.

I slowed down to get a better look to find a friggin’ HORSE wandering through the street. Another car pulled up near him and that got him into a semi-trot. The other car wasn’t willing to get out and catch him so I pulled over and left my car to spend the next 35 minutes harnessing a loose horse in my non-tractioned snow boots (little street sledding ala horse). I called my Bishop (he has horses and lives around the corner) and explained to his wife the situation hoping her husband would have a solution to the loose horse problem. Luckily he, Eddie, had a tag attached to his halter and I called the number.

“Hello?”

Yes, hi. I believe I’ve caught your horse Eddie in my neighborhood.

“What? Oh no, did he get out again?”

Again? Great. So she tells me it’s her mothers and she’s calling her to let her know. Meanwhile the horse is getting antsy and doesn’t want to stand in one spot waiting for his owner to show up so I figure I’ll walk him up and down the streets in my slippery snow boots. He’s minding me pretty well but I wonder if a leash or rope would help. I call my neighbor, Patti, and say, “Hey, Patti, I caught a horse and am outside your house and could use a leash or something to hold onto him.” She says she’ll be right out the garage door. The door opens and it’s her daughter… “What?! It’s a HORSE!” Um, yeah, that’s what I SAID.

Just then the Bishop shows up in his truck with a lead and snaps it on. There’s about 10 people outside now watching the whole fiasco and coming over to pet Eddie. I explain that I’ve reached the owners and they should show up soon. Having spent all that time with Eddie, I kinda want to keep him (I caught him after all) but everyone reminds me that I don’t have a fenced yard and that’d be a problem (yeah, kinda like the one we’re having right now?). Finally the owners daughter shows up with her husband (apparently her mom, the owner, was already asleep and didn’t answer her phone). They thank all of us and go on their merry way with Eddie following.

So for 35 minutes I had a horse.

P.S. If you wonder why I went through the trouble (of getting my dry clean only jacket all horsified); this area has a lot of deer that jump onto the road and get slaughtered (sounds brutal, but that’s what happens and we get to look at the residuals for a couple weeks until the crews come clean them up). All I could think of was this horse getting hit or causing someone else to swerve and have an accident. Wasn’t sure what I was going to DO with the horse once I caught him but I knew it’d be an adventure either way.

Q: You ever catch a random loose horse? I can’t be the only one.

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