I consider myself to be thoughtful in my gift giving.
If I cannot come up with a gift that is a) needed, b) desired or c) thoughtful beyond measure then I will give nothing at all. My thoughts are there, and it IS the thought that counts, right? However, nothing material will come from me unless I find it to be perfect (ask igottab. about her mousse).
I’ve been known to find the perfect gift for someone and hold onto it until there’s a reason to give. However, it’s really hard for me to have something to give and not give it right away or spoil the surprise and tell the recipient what it is.
Wanna walk with me in my mind and figure out WHY I am so particular about this? Come, walk and I’ll explain.
(we’re walking, we’re walking, we’re walking…)
If we are to be friends, or you’re a stranger that wants to give me a gift (which I’m FINE with, really), then the following is VERY IMPORTANT for you to understand.
I do NOT like receiving a gift that isn’t a) needed, b) desired or c) thoughtful beyond measure… but most of all (here’s the clincher) I really don’t like getting something unless it’s EXACTLY what I’ve asked for.
GASP – shock – RUDE! I know.
Yes, I said (typed) it for all to see. I know I’m supposed to be grateful for whatever I am given, but isn’t it easier to be grateful when it’s EXACTLY what I want?
Here’s the thing though… you won’t be penalized for NOT giving me a gift. Your presence is present enough. Really. If it bothers you that you can’t GIVE me anything, then you could DO something for me instead: weed my flower beds, shovel the snow from my walks, take me to lunch (you don’t even have to buy mine), write me a love note (doesn’t need to be romantic to be a love note, silly), send me a text message, plan a get together or come visit (the kids can play downstairs). I don’t need stuff that I don’t need… know what I mean?
When Geo posted her birthday wish list I figured it’s about time I do something thoughtful & keep myself from becoming too self-absorbed (especially in the gift receiving department). She asked for 4×6 pictures of her friends for a “Who loves ya, baby?” album. I take pictures so this request is right up my alley!
I emailed a handful of our bloggy friends with the invitation to come over for a quick mug shot and this is what we got…
Yours truly…
The last four were from other shoots… the first of the last 4 is CJane’s 30th birthday portrait (which reminds me I need to post her cute shoot – I’ll do that this week), the 2nd is Azucar at her baby shower, the 3rd is also from the shower and the last is yours truly using the timer on my point-n-shoot when I was still stuck in Vegas.
Q: What are your thoughts about gift giving/receiving?
{ 21 comments }
Great post topic!Love to give gifts that I think are just right. I’m like you–I have Xmas list ideas on paper beginning in about June. Now here’s where we’re different. I LOVE to be surprised. Sometimes is a complete bummer, but that is rare. I mean, if you tried, that counts. Like the year Shazzy got me a roomba. He was only trying to be helpful. At first I was bummed that he didn’t spend the money on jewelry, but really, he was trying to make my life easier, so how can you be annoyed by that?I don’t do wish lists, registry stuff, etc. I get people what I want to get them, and think fits them. The only exception is my husband. He has very very very particular and obscure musical tastes. So, it’s win/win when he registers on Amazon.
Oh, elizabeth-w, I love to be surprised too! …with EXACTLY what I want LOL :o)
Beautiful pics!
Soooo….no girly flashlight?Piper thinks it’s cool.I loved my b-day gift from you, I like homemade or well-thought out presents. Oh, I love expensive ones too, but it has to be exactly what I wanted.I love letters too. I’m with you on the visiting and hanging out with me thing.Thanks for taking the pics. They turned out beautiful.
I’ll have to get back to you on teh gifts, but I just wanted to say, “WOW!”Wonderful photographs!
I am EXACTLY the same way. Don’t know what to give me? Nothing (material) is fine. If it’s the thought that counts then take a few moments to jot down your thoughts and send me a letter. I ALWAYS love receiving snail mail from friends! Great post and I love the “who loves you” book idea!
First off – you’re very nice and good and thoughtful. Second – you’re a good photographer (you’re probably sick of hearing it, but just in case, I had to say it again…maybe it’s EXACTLY what you wanted!) Third – I agree with you about gifting. Well-thought-out is where it’s at. I’m not too picky about receiving however, because, like you, I think it’s the actual visit during the gift-giving that turns into the real gift.I have a friend who is fond of saying, “You know, it’s the thought that counts. And since I thought about making you a wonderful dessert or buying an extravagent gift I figure I’ve done what counts.” Love is always the best gift.
P.S. Thanks again for taking time to do this for Geo and for the rest of us who get a pretty picture for things like “my space” – wink, wink.
Well, my thought on THIS gift, this crazy beautiful collective bloggity gift, is that NOTHING could have been more perfect, not even Anthropologie! I want to hunt each one of you down and kiss you! Honestly, it was so terrific to open up the door and—FIRST of all—find you standing there on my Porch of Ensure, and—SECOND of all—holding that precious pack of pictures. What an excellent, thoughtful gift from you and the crew. (Dalene’s shot was also perfectly wonderful, although you didn’t happen to take that photograph.) I love you all, I do, I do, and when I have the time I want to write you real, live thank you notes. Please send me addresses if you have un momento. General thoughts on gift-giving: I’m oriented very differently from you on a part of this subject. I have never in my whole life felt comfortable with the whole writing a wish list thing. (This is why my blogged wish list was sort of tongue-in-cheek.)This disinclination has easily traceable roots in my far-off history. I would say my general reaction to writing wish lists is almost to the point of being an allergy. I’m working on it though, working on loosening up and exploring the whole ask and ye shall receive idea, as I can see that there are others who really do find it helpful and can actually still approach that kind of gift-giving in a sensitive, genuine, happy (non-martyrly, non-impersonal) way. Maybe someday I’ll blog the extended version of these thoughts, so they’ll be a little more clear. Mostly, I just love gifting and receiving from the heart. I do appreciate not getting stuff for the sake of stuff, as I’m constantly trying to de-stuff my life, and I’ll take something real over something that’s just meeting some arbitrary “requirement” any day. I’m good with the intangible and the ephemeral too: time together, food, service, flowers, whatever. I ADORE anything that’s connective: words, PICTURES, memories, “I loved this and thought of you when I _______ (read, saw, ate, wore, etc.) it, so I’m sharing it with you,” loving letters, and so on. Rob asked me what I wanted for my birthday this year and I choked out and couldn’t tell him. That old wish list demon stopped my tongue. But some little bird whispered the answer to him, because I got it anyway. And then Best Girlfriend in LA basically demanded that I give her some options. I came up with two, and she sent me three. See? These are the people who love me best, and even they believe in wish lists, so I’m trying to change. Sorry, this turned into a blog post all its own. Anyway, I adore you and the bloggerettes, and not just because you are The Make A Wish Foundation.Okay, one more thought: I was completely ASTONISHED at how excessively photogenic you ALL are. Can you make me look half that good, Lucky?P.S. I’m stealing the rest of these digital images for my iPod. Have decided I need a “Who loves you, baby?” file stored on that too.
OKay, I’m not quite done yet. I got some books this year too, and I love getting books. But here is my hard-and-fast rule: BOOKS MUST ALWAYS BE INSCRIBED. That’s where I foam at the mouth.
Thanks for the compliments on the photos (it’s not all me though).b. no, no girly flashlight for me but Piper’s bday is coming up ;o)Geo. you deserve everything you got! Thanks for the book inscription tip. I’ve never done it but always wanted to. I feel like I’m desecrating the book by marking it. But when I find an old book (or even a new one) and there’s any kind of inscription I get all warm and fuzzy inside.
Ooh! I love seeing all the great pics of such sexy sexy bloggers. And on the gift thing -it’s why I have a wishlist blog. :)
BTW, I am still accepting photos. Not that Lucky has to shoot them. WIll somebody please tell Cathy that I love her, love her photo too, and that I am signing up for her fan club via Tiger Beat? I don’t know her email address and she doesn’t blog, so I don’t know how else to tell her thanks for contributing her lovely mug to my book. Help!
My first thought is that I wish you were my friend. What a neat idea! And i’m right there with you on the PersonalAndMeaningful or no gift philosophy. I hate superfluous clutter, and I like to write, so sometimes I just write a little something for a friend–why I love them, fond memories, funny things. That way they have something very small, clutterless, and meaningful, (hopefully,) to keep.
Geo. I will tell Cathy of your love.Emily. Why CAN’T we be friends? :o)
I wrote a post on this. Maybe when you’re here you can show me how I could have linked back to it! Mrs S and I have never gifted each other on ocassions (birthdays,Christmas etc)but have given each other gifts. Gifting of ourselves and others is often a subject we angst over with each other. We both spend sleepless nights worrying over whether the gift we’ve gotten or are contemplating is perfect for the recipient. And we don’t want each other to have to go thru that for each other. I could write another post on this. So I’d better save it because I have some extremely important guests coming and should be getting ready.The photos are fabulous.
First…I’m jealous of geo… she has you as a friend to take FABULOUS pictures.Second…what a great idea for a bday gift… third… sign me up when you come to Nor Calif… ;-) I could use some pictures that make me look better than I am.
I can’t think of a single reason why we can’t…let’s!
My wish: CJane dolls me up to look as fabulous as she always does. Then, LRH snaps amazing pictures of me a la CJane style so that I have something to gaze at to remind me to adore myself occassionally.Of course, I just don’t have those cheeks. It probably would never work!
Geo just became my favorite person today! Her “blog within a comment” hit the nail on the head for me. I don’t do lists either and most of my friends hate it. I have had so many good friends who get me wonderful, thoughtful gifts, sometimes when it’s not even gift giving time, so I don’t feel the need or desire to make a list. Plus, for many people, they have good intentions behind what might seem to be a “junk” gift, and who am I to crush their intentions by saying don’t give me stuff? If it’s truly not something I will use, I’ll find someone else who can or give it away.
I like your lisa.
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