Movie Nuisances + Phlegm

by Lucky Red Hen on May 17, 2013

As a society, we are on a downward spiral when it comes to public behavior.

Back in the old days, men wore suits in public, ladies had fancy hats, we minded our p’s and q’s, kids were taught to be respectful of things and people, and trash wasn’t strewn all over the place.

Jump forward to today where guys show more underwear than pants, gals advertise on their derriere, cussing is overheard and seen everywhere, kids are given free-reign by their lax parents, and some people have no qualms about tossing garbage out their car window or onto the ground.

Remind me not to attend a movie opening weekend unless I want obnoxious teenagers trying to impress each other to ruin my experience (also remind me to always sit on the back row so I won’t have a kid kicking the back of my chair throughout the movie).

Iron Man 3 opened on a school night and we thought the 10:40 pm show would be late enough to avoid the crowds. Not so with two-thirds of the audience filled with loud, cell phone using teens (I understand using it up until the movie starts, but during the show I shouldn’t have to see it, thus the messages before every movie that says turn off your cell phone).

The other thing that shouldn’t be at that movie? A baby. With a shiny helmet. That poor little thing jerked at the loud explosions and shooting (it’s Iron Man, there is always LOTS of exploding and shooting) with scared-looking wide eyes taking it all in. Thanks to the parents for the baby sneezing our direction, all over our straw and into our bucket of popcorn… mmm, baby phlegm.

It’s not the baby’s fault it doesn’t know proper public sneezing etiquette (away from others and into your elbow if not a tissue or inside your shirt/jacket). And every time the baby would move it’s helmeted head the glare off it from the giant screen would flicker our direction, like the sun glazing off a mirror. Awesome.

“Wah, get over it,” you say? Yeah, I know people who are pro-baby’s-at-movies and pro-teens-doing-whatever-in-public that think I’m uptight or overly sensitive. But I don’t think it’s bad to wish there was more common courtesy in the world. I’m not at a playground expecting kids to be quiet or at the swimming pool wanting more coverage (come on already with all the side boobage and nipple slippage). In a movie that I’m paying for, I’d like to enjoy it without unnecessary distractions and phlegm.

Speaking of phlegm (how many times can I write phlegm in one post?)… We were at a scarcely attended movie a while back with a continual cougher; like he had bronchitis kind of cough, over and over and loud. It was obnoxious and annoying to miss movie dialogue because his coughing drowned out the sound. Not fair. He did this throughout the entire movie, not like when you get a coughing fit and leave to cough it out… he never left, he stayed and coughed. If I have a cough, I stay home until I don’t. If I get a coughing fit during a movie, I get rid of it by leaving and getting a drink. If that doesn’t work then I ask for a movie voucher to come back later.

People are expected to be quiet (whisper) in libraries, so we should teach and expect similar manners in other public places.

Don’t get me started on the screaming/crying kids at Old Navy every time I am there. Every. Time.

EDIT: The next Sunday after this post, I happened to sit in front of some kids at church who couldn’t not kick the back of my pew. What a coincidence.


Lolly Jane May 22, 2013 at 1:41 pm

Well said, my dear! We saw the 2nd GI JOE last month and a group of obnoxious teens were being extra loud during an intense scene and my hubby (who is 6’4″) marched over to them (acting like theater staff) and warned them they would have to leave if they did not stop talking and told them they had 1 chance or he would escort them out. They all sat straight forward for the rest of the flick. Yay brave husband! We were paying a babysitter to be at that movie and this was our 1st date night in 2 months so I was glad it wasn’t ruined by minors who have no manners. Hhmph! ;)

Dee June 9, 2013 at 10:04 pm

GREAT post! It takes a village to raise a child. Some folks think their kid is so wonderful and are clueless to how obnoxious the kid really is… and it’s impossible to blame the child, because they are just doing what they can get away with. Parents nowadays need a wake up call/slap- they need to step up and act like they have some sense, or else their kids will become little replicas of their parents. Little Jimmy’s outburst may seem adorable now, but it won’t look so cute when Little Jimmy is being led away in handcuffs or getting expelled from school. However, I’m sure by then these (non)parents will have found another person/system to blame.

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